America’s Fittest Cities

WP_003309I wound up having an anxiety attack around 9 last night in the bathroom at work. I found out some troubling things on top of my already stressed out state of mind. A family had brought a big box of muffins and bagels in for us. The thought is so wonderful, but the temptation is enough to send me o er the edge. I tried ignoring it, eating another snack of graham crackers to substitute for the crunch. Eventually, I sliced a small sliver of a muffin to feel like I wasn’t completely depriving myself of it. I got my fix but, Lord, did I want to crawl in a ball and cry.

I text dad, but it didn’t seem to help. And finding out other news aided to my frustration. I was still under my calorie alottment for the day, but that doesn’t seem to matter to this crazy mind of mine, lately. For the past week, I’ve wanted snacks but cringed if I eat more than 500 calories.

I can’t have my cake and eat , too, ya know? literally!!

Things just got worse when I left work. I won’t got into details but things at home just went from bad to worse…

I ended up going to my dads house. I knew I wasn’t hungry but I wanted something. My nerves were shot and I needed crunch. I wound up going to town on these little puff nuggets of bacon cheddar poofness:


Despite knowing I wasn’t hungry but ate anyway, I was okay. Oddly enough, I had more anxiety at work surrounded by the tempting sweets than actually bring at home eating… Sometimes being around my dad just calms me. Especially on a night like last night.

To a little better…

I began to perk up a bit after weighing myself. I haven’t done so in a month or so, which is pretty impressive for a girl who used to weigh herself everyday and spazz I’ve a tenth of kilogram difference in weight. I was very happy with the number.

As much as I wanted to be with Barry, and as wonderful as he was for driving all the way to my house at midnight to make sure I was okay, it was just a night I needed my dad.

WP_003312I had a plan in my head for today and I refused to shy away from it. I wanted to hit the farmers market and 2 other stores before work.  I woke up, feeling refreshed , and thinking it was like 9am. Nope, it was 11am! Hustling to the kitchen, I popped a Van’s Belgian Multigrain Waffles in the toaster and some eggs and Canadian bacon in the skillet. I topped the the waffle with sugar free blueberry preserves and dug in! I enjoy that sweet, buttermilky waffle with slight salt from the bacon.

I decided to have my sweet earlier rather than later, thinking it might deter my late night sweet tooth.


Shortly after finishing my yummy sugar free chocolate pudding and grahams (and the crumbs left in the box from those Devil Food Crumb donuts), one of the nurses pulled out a birthday cake and cut into it. Damn it! Whipped cream with jimmies! Really, universe??? I cut a small sliver and may have stole the nilla wafer and strawberry that were on top. Throughout the night, I cut two more slivers of the same size and felt proud that I did not over indulge.

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Claire kept calling me to the front desk, and I kept telling her I was in the middle of something. Then I figured out why… Barry surprised me at work! I thought he was away at drill, but there he stood in camo at the front of the unit (with a diet Cherry Dr. Pepper in hand)!


I packed a light dinner, in the form of a reduced sodium miso soup packet and threw some steamed broccolli slaw to give it a bit of texture. A cranberry apple hot tea, accompanied it…

I had a great shift, kept busy, worked well with everyone, loved my patients, and even managed to get some studying in!

This article caught my eye and I thought I’d give it a share…Top 5 Fittest Cities:

  • Minneaoplis/ St. Paul
  • DC
  • Portland
  • San Fran
  • Denver

The good news for me is that I’m kinda close to 1 of those cities… The bad news is that I’m closer to more cities of the obese list!

Delaware is ranked 26th, which, I guess, isn’t terrible… middle of the road… Where does your home rank?

I would love to hear from you about where your home ranks, how you perceive your area, and what you do to encourage fitness and over all good health?

For a graduation gift, my girlfriend got me a subscription to Fitness Magazine, which I thought was an awesome idea! I’m not the fittest, and I’m certainly no health guru, but I know a lot about health and fitness and enjoy learning about it. In fact, its kind of funny… even though I went threw my eating disorder, the girls at work still come to me for my knowledge of health and fitness!

At this point in time, I am not as active as I used to be. I think once I take my boards, I’ll pick back up. But I still park further away, take the stairs, go to Zumba, and watch what I eat, and its like that picture from yesterday said:

“No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping the people on the couch.”

Refrain Running

Last night, dad and I watched another Redbox called Not Fade Away. I picked it because it was about music and it had James Gandolfini in it. I dug the music but the movie, itself, was so-so.


Also making an appearance was the Chocolate Peanut Butter Arctic Zero with fat free whipped cream, jimmies, broken fat free pretzel sticks for a salty crunch, and a sprinkle of  Chocolate PB2. I love that I can eat this and not have an anxiety attack about it! Arctic Zero, you are a blessing to all those in eating disorder recovery!

After dropping Barry’s dinner off to him at work, I arrived home not being able to take my eyes off the last fuji apple. I sliced it up and enjoyed the slices with Be Well Nutella sandwiched between them.

Utter Frustration

Despite all my yawning and being in bed by 10, I did nothing all night, but lay there- completely awake! I tried counting sheep, deep breathing, stretching, and even massaging pressure points to relax. Nothing worked! I was too tired to study, too tired to talk or open my eyes… I was so frustrated I wanted to scream! But I was too tired for that too.

Eventually I gave in and whipped out a pad if paper and worked on a few new recipes. By 4 am, my belly was growling! I tried to ignore it but now I know what time my food is digested by and why I’m hungry in the morning.

I mosied into the kitchen. My immediate reaction was to head to the MagicBullet, but since it was 4am, I thought that might be a bit inconsiderate to others actually sleeping! I grabbed a granola bar, which I enjoyed. But suddenly, I was hit with eating disorder anxiety. Just peachy!

I hate laying down after eating, but I became overwhelmed with fatigue after eating my Kashi and passed out until being awoken 3 hours later by a serious of noises. First, Bunny was meowing incessantly, so I got up, made sure he had food and fell back asleep… briefly, that is, until I was awoke by a claw scratching at my foot…

Next came a wake up call… apparently my little brother over slept and Frank was yelling to his room  to get up! Well, I’m up!

I text dad to see if he wanted to take a shake to work so I threw half a banana in with a  scoop of almond butter and Be Well Nutella, and 2 scoops of Herbalife Cafe Latte. Very tasty!

Around 11am, I whipped up brunch for Frank and myself. Franks shake included Cafe Latte Shake mix, chocolate shake mix, Be Well Nutella, Almond Butter, and sugar free Torani coconut syrup to make a Pseudo-Almond Joy.

After Barry’s fascination with the Blueberry cheesecake shake from our Denny’s Breakfast menu, I was in the mood for a cheesecake shake, myself. Returning to the good ol’ shakes, I threw together a coffee and a Mixed Berry Cheesecake:WP_003304

  • 1 Tbsp sugar free fat free Cheesecake pudding mix
  • 1 scoop vanilla shake mix
  • 1/4 cup fresh blueberries
  • 1/2 cup Welch’s Antioxidant frozen Mixed Berry Blend

WP_003305I like to add fat free graham crackers to my cheesecake shakes, but this morning I added about 1/4 cup multigrain Cheerios on top to give me a crunchy aspect. It worked out great! I always feel so much more satiated when I eat my shakes with a spoon… its probably all in my head…

In an ultimate procrastination mood, I did a few things around the house. I finally decided to call work and see what the unit looked like and was told I would be on the desk. Well, after my mini anxiety about the granola bar, and the recent knowledge that I would be sitting for 8 hours, I decided I needed to feel somewhat accomplished.

Frank found an old picture of his dad and some family friends. The edges were starting to brown and get tattered-looking, so I grabbed the picture and took a little brisk walk, about 1 mile round trip, got a copy and enhancement made, and returned with it framed. He really liked it!

I’m always happy when I can make others smile:)

FYI: August 1st began National Sandwich Month. I’m kicking it off with a left over meatloaf sandwich! Holla! I grabbed the last slice of Honey Mustard Crusted Poultryloaf, threw it on a slice of multigrain with BBQ sauce, and headed to work with my NCLEX book in hand. I must say, the loaf was even better the next day!

As I arrived at work, I stopped by the caf to grab a drink, only to be greated my blueberry pies. Proud that I kept I walking, I came onto my unit to find a pile of temptation in the break room…


Look away! While at the desk, I could only think of the mini blueberry scone… I cut a little piece off and walked away. Thank God! My plan was to drink lots of fluid and chew gum to keep my mind off the thought of a pastry! I ran to the caf to grab dinner for some busy nurses and grabbed some cucumbers and the like, along with a SF chocolate pudding. I love chocolate pudding with crumbled grahams! So far so good.


One of the girls had brought peppers and cherry tomatoes in from her garden so I grabbed a few tomatoes to snack on. Finding some salsa, I decided to snack on the peppers. They looked like habeneros…

I guess I was feeling pretty ballsy or that the salsa what act as a coolant, because I bit into that thing like a champ. HOT PEPPER!!! I had to grab a drink and blow my nose… not ssuch a smart decision on my part.

With my good intake for the day, I cut a 1/4 of one of the Devils Food Crumb donuts as a chocolate treat. Damn it, Entenmanns! Why do the crumbs taste so good?!!?

I’m a really crumby person…

I have a problem with crumbs! Like I’ll be that weird person that eats thecrumbs left in the donut box, just so I can feel like I ate a donut…. Despite, still being 500 calories under what I alot myself, I still was having major calorie anxiety!

I wish I could figure out why? Is there something else manifesting itself as calorie anxiety? Am I nervous about the upcoming NCLEX? Is that why I’m not sleeping? What is going on with me?

Refrain Running

Not, refrain from running! Refrain Running. Music is very important to me. In fact, one of my first memories with my dad is him singing (he is a fantastic singer, by the way) and dancing with me. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, a refrain is a part of a song, like the chorus… the part that gets repeated in between the verses…

On my brief, but most needed, run yesterday, I came up with the term “Refrain Running.” I know the right music sets the tone for my workouts. For instance, I have a difficult time running to slower songs, but some up beat songs have an off beat which throws off the sequence of my run. It sounds silly, but its true! Like Thrift Shop by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis.. Ilove that song, it pumps me up, but I have a hard time running to it because the beat makes me want to strut down the street like I’m cool or something. Haha!

Anyway, with this in mind, I noticed that I run during certain parts of songs, and power walk during other parts, creating a great interval routine! Here are some songs I realized work well with this concept:

  • Pitbulll- Hotel Room Service
  • Rooney- When Did Your Heart Go Missing
  • Adam Lambert- If I Had You
  • Ludacris ft. Pharrell– Money Maker

I’ll add to this list as I come across these songs, but its a great way to coordinate intervals into running without using a distance tracker or an app.


WP_003306I have noticed that my hair has gotten so much thicker! And with my new hair growth, new bangs, well, fuller bangs! My mom was a hairdresser so I’m relatively savy on trimming my bangs, so snip, snip, and viola! I Love it!

This lead me to this thought:

With new health, comes new hair!