The Scrub Life

We’re breaking records, here, in Wilmington! My friend, Brian, posted this as his FB status that describes the way the weather has been the last week:

brian

Between the snow, rain, and wind, I had to drive home through the thickest fog I’ve ever driven through! Visibility was about 10 feet! Driving home from work has been pretty dangerous!  The night before, it had snowed its but off and I drove 15mph all the way home!

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But today was most extreme of them all! The threat driving home this morning was black ice, but the temperature was even more dangerous. When I left work this morning, I left with two jackets on, two hoods, gloves, a scarf, and sweatpants over my scrub bottoms. Why? Because it was 3 F! Yes, THREE DEGREES!!! And that was just the air temperature! The wind chill? Oh, just -17 F!

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“Its Brisk, Baby!”

Everyone always says how lucky nurses are to wear such a comfortable uniform. Its true, its pretty comfy. But the downside is that there is nothing to them! The wind goes right through the fabric and straight to your bones! Brrrrrr! Usually, when its cold out, I’ll wear tights under my scrubs, but sweatpants are thicker. Depending on the weather tonight, I might triple layer with tights, scrubs, and sweatpants! Even though the roads are slick, at least the drive to work is a scenic one…

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I’ve been bundled up, even in the house! Dad thinks its hilarious that I sleep with my pom pom hat on!

Lucky for me, I’ve been whipping up lots of warm goodies in the kitchen! Oh, and the forecast tomorrow? -14 F! Just great!

WP_005224On the plus side, I’ve been keeping warm with yummy foods! I’ve been hanging out at dads place alot and my eating has been great! I think its because I’m having what are called “meaningful meals.” When you begin refeeding after an eating disorder, they say to have “meaningful meals.” This means to eat meals consciously, carefully, and with meaningful people. For about 2 weeks now, I’ve eaten three meals a day and snacks!

What an accomplishment! Work is going well and I’m even eating meat,again! I eat some sort of protein at least once a day! This is a huge breakthrough for me! For instance, I organized the freezer and found two 10 oz pork loins. Which I used immediately! One night, I marinated the loin in hot pepper jelly, cooked the loin and used the juices, along with teriyaki sauce and red pepper flakes to make a stir-fry! The following night, with a jar of roasted red peppers in the fridge, and a sale of frozen veggies at the store, I was still craving pork! I seasoned the last pork loin with Italian WP_005231seasoning and thyme, and while steaming it, browned the outside of the loin. Once cooked through, I removed the loin and let it rest. I added a box of chopped frozen spinach, thinly sliced onion, garlic, seasoning, and sliced roasted reds to the pan. I thinly sliced the resting loin and I ate my meal out of bowl, and made a tasty porchetta sandwich with melted light provolone for pops! YUM!

Silly

My belly was feeling much better after a rough night of tossing and turning.

I heard on the news that it was going to snow. (Fingers crossed schools would be closed.) No such like. But by the time I got to the hospital the snow was coming down! School wound up closing at 12 but clinical operate on a separate schedule. We didn’t get to leave until about 2:20pm. We didn’t get lunch so I was pretty hungry despite the graham crackers I snacked on mid-morning.

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view leaving the hospital

The roads were pretty dangerous, and yet people still insist on speeding and cutting people off. Silly drivers…

Since my brother had off from school today, mom made blueberry pancakes. When i got home, I finally got my pancake fix. I got a little cocky, being able to hold this and some apple down, and then split a can of Progresso Light Beef Pot Roast Soup with Mom.

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with some goldfish

Weird combo… pancakes and soup…

Now who’s the silly one? Ugh so full!

Speaking of being silly… Let me just mention how weird Bunny and Beauty are acting today. Since I’ve been home they have been in and out of the house and when they are in the house they following me around everywhere I go. According to mom, they’ve been doing this all day. Even when I was doing some stretches on the floor, I opened my ears to see Beauty’s nose in my eye! HAHA! Is it a full moon or does slushy snow fall do this to everyone?

I totally rocked my IV push medication today, which I was freaking out about! It was a great learning experience and I think I will be much more comfortable next time around!

I spent the night with this full tummy catching up on last weeks episode of Glee (one of my guilty pleasures). Ironically, this episode was called “Guilty Pleasures.”

 

Surprising Snow

Yesterday was such a great day and I wanted today to be just as good. I woke up early this morning to get to the hospital to gather information on my patients for tomorrow.  This is what I was greeted with this morning:

SNOW!

SNOW!

And when I left work?

More Snow!

More Snow!

I spent a couple hours gathering information, I headed home and whipped up a shake.

thick n creamy

thick n creamy

I threw in some kale, frozen strawberries, ice, chocolate protein powder, and Stonyfield Chocolate greek yogurt.

I really needed something crunchy this morning, so I ate ate some dry Special K Vanilla Almond cereal on the side.

I have work until 2300, tonight and then its up early Monday morning for clinical. I’m going to be so sleepy! Idid not have time to work out today though because I still needed to do my paperwork for tomorrow.

Apparently, the census at work dropped because I got a call asking if I wanted to take a cancel.. No Way Jose! I’m glad I came in though, because although we did not have aton of kids, I certainly kept busy… And I got another perfect stick! Woo Hoo!

Today was another good eating day! I’m liking this . Two days in row? Heck, I KNOW I’ll make it three, then four, and so on.

I almost got carried away with these and some PB

I almost got carried away with these and some PB

Have a great night!

Mother Nature’s Menopause

Last week I was telling you about the snow and how cold it was, and yesterday? 66 and humid! Mother Nature is having some serious hot flashes! Today, I left work and it was 31 and flurrying!

The wind is blowing me over@

The wind is blowing me over@

Once again on night shift, I went overboard. We had bagels from Panera and I ate my favorite, Cinnamon Crunch bagel! Then when I came home this morning, I ate breakfast, and there was no stopping me! I just kept eating. I enjoyed what I ate, Blueberry bagel thin with non fat cream cheese, OIKOS mango apricot greek yogurt topped with homemade granola, an apple with Planters banana granola PB…

dun dun dun... back away from the bagels!

dun dun dun… back away from the bagels!

Its amazing! I’ve researched the connection between recovering anorexics and binge eating, and its far too common. The problem is that its not healthy!

And its making me crazy!

Another thing thats really frustrating is that while I’m binging, I’m telling myself to stop. Its like I’m powerless. What is that?!

Tomorrow is the first of the month and I’m starting from scratch. I’d like to fast tomorrow, and begin again on Saturday. I’ve been talking with my girlfriend, Katie, who said that when she was in recovery, she dealt with the same problem.

I return to night shift Thursday night, with every intention of fasting. Luckily, I emailed my dietitian earlier in the day to see what she thought of the fasting idea. With my history of deprivation and now overindulgence, fasting would only set me up further disappointment.

As much as I wanted to burn as many calories as I could, I was put in a 1:1 (this is when a patient is required to have someone with them at all times). At first, I was tweeked because I still was full from binging and wanted to feel like I was being productive.

In actuality, it was kind of a blessing. Once my patient fell asleep, I had time to do some overdue studying, and I was not surrounded by temptation (aka food). When I took my break, I tried to eat comfortably… a NSA fruit cup, grahams and PB, and i snacked on some of my girlfriend’s fries. I also cracked into some Cheerios for some pop-able crunch. This was still more than I planned to eat, but I’m thankful that I was able to say, “Sammy, your full. You can step away.” And I did.

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I know the blog has been so binge centered, lately, but for those struggling with eating disorders, its nice to recognize that you’re not alone. Thank you for helping me cope.

While on my assignment, I also came across the following two articles:

You Have to Want it More– I liked this because it was all about the little changes creating a better experience and life

One at a Time– I liked this because she gave me a great idea to try to get my parents involved in healthy living, and also acknowledging that we are not powerless, we control our lifestyles.

You know what? And this article in too! Secret Eating… Guilty.

I know I’m not alone, even if at times I feel I am. I know I can control my outcomes, even though at times I feel powerless. I’ve trekked up the hill of better living and joyously celebrated on top. I danced on top, tripped over my own feet, and tumbled down. Just like last time, I can hike back up.

I’ll see you at the top.

Upside Down Kinda Day

Last night’s dinner was super filling! 

I woke up this morning determined to start this funky-scheduled day with some pep. When I start my day with exercise, I always feel invincible for the rest of the day. 

I began with cleaning out the fireplace and bringing in some fire wood from the 20 degree F porch to warm up the house. Once I got my pyro-fix, I started Julie’s Super Sweaty Ab Workout (one of my favorites)! Mountain Climbers kick my butt every time!

Once I completed this, I whipped out the magic bullet. I really wanted to use my homemade cashew butter today so I looked to my fellow nut butter lover, Julie, for some inspiration. The following found its way into my tummy:

half of a frozen banana

1 tbsp cashew butter

Strawberry Dannon Light and Fit yogurt

1 scoop Herbalife Vanilla Protein Drink Mix

1 scoop Herbalife Vanilla Formula 1

15g (1/4 to 1/3 cup) kale, chopped 

1/4 tsp xanthum

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After enjoying majority of this smoothie bowl and some serious brain freeze, I needed to knock out a lecture before class today. This bowl was so filling, I did not even think of food till close to 1600.

The reason I call this an “upside down kinda day” is because I work night shift tonight. Its different when you work 11pm to 7am consistently because your body adapts to that schedule, but when you work it every now and then, you just need to suck it up, sleep when you can, and power through. It also messes up my eating… like when do I sleep? What’s breakfast? Whens dinner? I feel like on days like this I eat alot of snacks, and not so much meals…

I was greeted by this view as I walked out of class:

SNOW!

SNOW!

And this pretty site on my way home:

My neighborhood is so pretty when it snows!

My neighborhood is so pretty when it snows!

After I got home from a really informative lab, I had a big bowl of fruit, from The Fresh Market, and topped it with some low fat cottage cheese! YUM!

While I am at work tonight, I will working on some reading for school, and of course, working on tomorrow’s post.