Magical Meat?

Last night, I cried to my parents. I cried because everything I eat haunts me. It doesn’t matter what I eat… rice cake, vegetables… Honestly, thats all I’ve really eaten the past few days.

I’ve worked night shift the last two nights, and between the two shifts, I managed to eat a ton of raw veggies from the salad bar and 1, yes, one, complete Amy’s frozen meal. In all honesty, 240 calories of vegetables and protein, is good for a frozen entree. Amy’s Black Bean and Cheese Enchilada meal hit the spot. It had a combination of my favorite foods: beans, rice, cheese, and vegetables!

In fact, Frank has been making pilaf dishes all week long and I keep stealing nibbles out of the pot. I feel so guilty when I eat carbs like rice, beans, ans quinoa because I just want to eat it all! I miss it!

I cried to  my dad on the phone about how I longed to bite into a sandwich, a burger, something with meat! Again, I barely eat meat because of calories. I snack so much and I’m so insatiable and have so much anxiety, that I just snack. And that’s how I get into calorie trouble.

Whats worse, is that when I get this way, and get in these funks…

I want to eat everything, but I hate myself no matter what I eat.

I isolate myself.

And everyone who tries to help me, even the ones who I ask for their help, become my enemies. Especially my dad. I know they can’t stand this mind game of mine, but I don’t like it either. I don’t want to go through what I went through this time last year. NO WAY!

After work, this morning, I felt like life was on my side. The weather this week has been bitter cold and today was perfect November running weather! Thank you, God! I was pumped. I did some Refrain Running to drop off my rent and then down to Fresh Thymes.

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I really love making this part of my Friday routine! Starting my weekend with a run, today was about 2.1 miles, Bananas Foster coffee, and good company in a mellow corner cafe, puts me into a wonderful mindset!

I love buying my dad breakfast from the ladies at Fresh Thyme, too! Today, I ordered dad “The Epitome of Fabulosity with Vegan Sausage.” Dad really enjoyed the vegan sausage, red onion, and garlic and chive Lancaster cheddar on sprouted grain English muffin! I think he really enjoys the corner shop and Friday coffee tradition, as well. I adored the sprouted grain english muffin!

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After arriving back home, I headed off to my Vagina Monologue auditions, and followed it up with some strolling on Main Street in Downtown Newark. Being in such a good mood, I asked dad if he wanted to go out for dinner. It was also meant as a bit of a peace offering. Last night, dad and I quarreled, repeatedly, about food.

WP_004659Dad has had a gift card to Famous Daves for months. And for all of those months, I’ve been putting it off. I didn’t actually wind up eating until about 1230pm, when I surprised dad at work. He had a packet of Cup-A-Soups, which was only 50 calories, and some salsa, which I added to the soup. Even after the soup, I was still hungry!

I used all my self-control to push away the urge to eat anything else, knowing dad, Barry, and I would be eating at Famous Dave’s (not exactly the golden standard for healthy eating).

I planned ahead, and dad was so pleased that we were finally at the restaurant,  that he let me order something small and nibble off his and Barry’s meals. Since we had the gift card, dad ordered “Traditional Chicken Wings and “Burnt Ends as the starter. I had two wings and a few nuggets of meat. We all love trying to out-spice each other with the assortments of sauces!

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I ordered a cup of Dave’s Famous Chili and a side of “Firecracker Green Beans” (neither of which were exceptionally noteworthy). Barry ordered “The Manhandler,” which was actually much better sounding than it was. (The Hell-Fire Pickles were pretty darn awesome, though!) Dad, on the other hand, ordered a monster of a burger. I took one bite, and I felt like I could breath. Suddenly, the BBQ sauce on face and the crumbs on the plate, magically took away  my anxiety, for those brief moments of burger bliss.

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Barry had to leave dinner early for work, and when I returned to my dad, at the table, he told me how proud he was of me. I know I’m a “Daddy’s Girl,” but I do everything and anything to make him happy. It kills me, it physically hurts my heart, when I hurt him. I know that every time I let this eating disorder creep back up and take control, it hurts him.

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Seeing him smile at me, taking a picture of me with this mammoth of a burger, feeling this positive energy radiating off my dad… it is an amazing feeling! “Please, babe.. take one more bite…” No, I’m good, dad… “Please? For me…”

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I savored every second of this bite, focusing on every flavor and texture of “The Ultimate Brisket Burger”: the crisp and salty jalapeno bacon, the melted sharp American cheese, the juicy beef of the burger melting in my mouth, and the sweet, tangy sauce coating the pulled pork, all between the crumbling corn bread bun.

Oh my gosh… this post sounds like food porn…

In Bulk

I had three goals today, all of which I accomplished!

  • Exercise
  • Make soup
  • Make today better than yesterday

I woke up and began making today’s recipe. I figured that it could simmer while I went to my Zumba toning class. I arrived at Zumba toning only to find out it had been cancelled! I guess thats what happens when you don’t check your facebook…

Nonetheless, I was determined to be active! As I drove home, I thought of what I could do and the chores I needed to do. Well, I need to pick up flour for tomorrow’s recipe… I decided to take the opportunity to continue to train for a 5K and ran 2.6 miles down to The Riverfront, where the ShopRite is. I always enjoy mixing up my running trails. Its like 5 Gum.. It “stimulates” my senses! Haha. I just enjoy the different scenery, smells, people….

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I was so proud of myself for making it there in 35 minutes, as opposed to the navigators estimate of 58! Yay for Refrain Running!

Frank picked me up and I treated him to a breakfast of “The Kim” from Fresh Thymes (bagel, cream cheese, onion, tomato, and lox), and grabbed a cinnamon coffee for myself. When I arrived back home, I whipped up a Black Forrest bowl, topped with Gnu’s Espresso Chip, and spent some time sending out resumes, and checking my email.

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  • 1/4 cup frozen cherries
  • 1 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 Splenda packet
  • 1/4 to 1/2 tsp rum extract

It was just what I needed to fuel my day even further! Suddenly, I was Suzy Homemaker! I did tons of work! I began vacuuming and suddenly I realized this kitchen floor needs to be cleaned. I got on my hands and knees and began to scrub away. We have a textured floor and so much dirt gets stuck. Such a pain in the butt! Then, the old girl, Beauty, peed on the carpet. Poor baby. After I used the carpet cleaning machine to clean up the pup’s mess, decided the carpet could use a one over, too! Next thing I knew, the carpet was scrubbed and smelling good!

WP_004608It was also a good today because I had a lunch, a dinner, and a snack! Yes! Normalcy!

Dinner was a chicken cheese steak with onions, ketchup, and cheddar! The day flew by! I couldn’t believe how quickly it went! I ate like a real person, kept busy, got shopping done, cleaned the floors, did some laundry, and cooked one heck of a brunch for tomorrow!

In my opinion, cold weather has the best food! Sure I love fruits and veggies fresh from the garden, but I love chilies, soups, dumplings, turkey, pumpkin, and, hello, Christmas cookies! This is one of those recipes that means Jack Frost is in the air! Its a set and forget recipe, minus the crock pot, that yields beaucoup (boo-koo) amounts of soup! This family has no clue how to cook for a family… we cook for an army! We freeze this stuff and eat it year-round, but its usually gone by March… I use a 32 cm pot, about a 2-3 gallon pot, with lid.

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Chicken and Barley (Noodle) Soup??????????????

  • 10 chicken thighs
  • 2 cups carrots, chopped
  • celery, chopped
  • 2 Tbsp dried pot herb*
  • 2 cups uncooked barley
  • 1/4 cup ketchup
  • 1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • pepper, to taste
  • abobo, to amp up the flavor, if necessary**

Place chicken, water (to the top, about 40 cups) , carrots, celery, and pot herb*, cover, and simmer over lowest heat for 3 hours. In the meantime, bring a pot of water to a boil and add barley. Boil the barley, skimming off the starch as it forms, for about 8 minutes. Drain and rinse the barley, return to the pot with water, bring to a boil, again. Skim off the starch, boil for another 8 minutes, rinse and drain, until the water is clear.

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After 3 hours, the chicken will begin to float to the top of the pot, as will fat and marrow byproducts. With tongs, remove the chicken thighs and set aside, allowing to cool. While the thighs are cooling, add ketchup, red pepper flakes, salt and pepper. Remove the skin and bones from the thighs, and discard. Shred the chicken with your fingers, removing any fat or grissel. Return the shredded chicken to the pot, as well as the drained barley, recover and allow it to simmer for another 2 hours.

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Your heart and waistline will thank you.

Your heart and waistline will thank you.

Optional, but highly recommended: Working in batches, spoon the soup into containers and refrigerate. This allows grease and fats to float to the top and solidify, so it can be removed. This may take a few hours, I recommend letting sit over night. Skim the fat off the top and discard. Return all skimmed containers back to the pot, cover, and heat through.

If you are a noodle person, boil some pasta, we use farfelle (AKA bow tie). Once al dente, drain and rinse the pasta and divide amongst the bowls. It can also be served, as is! Ladle the soup on top, and finish with a sprinkle of reduced fat grated Parm!

WP_004702*Pot herb: Pot herb is, technically, any green grown for the use of its leaves, including kale, collards, parsley, ect. Typically, mom and I use fresh pot herb, which is hard to find, but some grocery store have it in the produce department. If using fresh, place in a paper bag over night before using. Snip off most  of the pepper, with just a piece of the pepper still in tact, and throw the whole thing in there! If using dry, place two tablespoons in a cheese cloth and create a spice ball, and throw the whole thing in!WP_004607

**Abodo: The broth in this recipe is from scratch and sometimes the chicken flavor may not shine through. If this is the case, sprinkle some adobo in, to taste. It brings out all the flavors in the soup!

Sorry bloggers! Its a huge vat and goes pretty quickly! A rough estimate would be around 135 calories per serving. Even without the noodles, its keeps you seriously full!

Good Feeling Friday

Today was an all around feel good day, right from the very start!

Sometimes the hardest part if working out or going for a run, is actually getting out of bed. It is most definitely November in Delaware and my body knew it. My alarm went off at 730 and it took almost 20 minutes to convince my body to get out of bed. It was so toasty and warm!

WP_004530I finally threw the covers off and ran to my robe. I suited up in pink and black, this morning, and layered up with leggings and tights, as well as gloves and a head band. I knew that preparing for the chill would keep me more motivated. The one negative? My running pants stayed up but the rights underneath kept sliding down… Ha!

At least I was warm. I used my iPod to complete about 2 miles of refrain running to grab some coffee. 2 miles for coffee, Sammy? That must be some good coffee! Oh it is! For the past 3 weeks, I have made it to Fresh Thymes on Friday mornings for their banana fosters coffee! While there, chatting with Jenn and Steph, the fab chicks that run the cute corner cafe, I gave dad a call and he met me for breakfast and coffee.

After browsing the menu, it was hard to decide what to get! Everything sounded amazing! We decided on “The Julian.” I may have been a bit sneaky in this selection. Dad didn’t bring in his glasses and couldn’t read the print and he asked me to read what was in the wrap. I may have just said “sausage” rather than “seitan sausage.” Whoops!

None the less, we ordered “The Julian,” and chatted up the ladies, while sipping on our coffees. The smell of our food cooking was fantastic, and I kept peaking over at the griddle to check out what was awaiting us! The wrap was huge! Thank goodness we split it! Served with a slice of apple and tabbouleh salad, we dug into our breakfast of seitan sausage, sauerkraut, apples, onion, spinach, and spices. Delicious!

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After dad raved about the wrap, I announced, “Ladies and gentleman, my father has eaten tofu and seitan in less than 24 hours!!!” which got some smiles and chuckles from the hungry breakfast folk.

I was stuffed for a long time after my half wrap! My day was kicked off with tons of good feelings! I was full and knew it! I had breakfast with my dad! Dad had eaten two healthy meals in less than 24 hours! I had accomplish 2 miles in November! I couldn’t wait to see what the rest of the day would bring!

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Dad drove me home, after breakfast, and I immediately began to tidy up. Another thing to make me feel accomplished! I met up with Barry at the Farmers Market, where I picked up a bunch of goodies. After the radishes the other night at work I picked up a pack of radishes for snacking, which I pretty much finished off by the end of the night. I also picked up a bunch of orange and red bell peppers!  Throughout my shopping, I picked up a few things for Beauty! Yes, Rachel Ray, apparently, makes dog food, and, yes, that is doggie ice cream, both of which, Beauty loved! What a spoiled little pup!

WP_004535It was a day of smart snacking and tasty treats. Frank, for dinner, whipped up pasta and seafood sauce! How could I resist? I heated up a package of Tofu Shirataki noodles and topped it with the sauce! MMMM! I sliced up a bell pepper and used that to pick up the remained gravy at the bottom of the bowl!

The night is closing with some hot chocolate and ginger snaps- shocker!

Chili(y)

I went to Barry’s after work yesterday morning and immediately crashed! I couldn’t believe how tired I was. I actually slept! For like 5 hours! I woke up and it was 130 in the afternoon! Barry and I headed over to the Newark Co-op so I could pick up a few things. Hes been teaching me how to drive stick shift, so I got to drive. I think each time I drive, I’m getting better! We made it in one piece to the co-op and I found these babies!

If you recall, my first experience with POPCORNERS was addicting. I saw them on the shelves and directly below them, the words “Whole Grain.” Then came the words, “Memphis BBQ.” I thought about resisting and decided against it. Pretty darn hungry, Barry and I got in the car and dug in! Wow! Once again, POPCORNERS has me hooked!

Most of my evening was what I would consider insatiable! Once I got home, I made myself a large steamed vegetable and roast turkey salad. I microwaved bell peppers, onions, artichoke hearts, and turkey, and added them to a bunch of chopped iceberg. I finished it off with diced cucumbers and dill pickles, crushed red pepper flakes, salsa, and SF Balsamic Vinaigrette.

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Despite such a scrumptious salad, I still felt unsatisfied. I found myself nibbling. Ugh! I hate that “N” word! It really gets to me. I just felt insatiable.

Earlier in the day, every time I ate or drank, even water, I would get a sharp pain in my abdomen. Barry thinks because it hurt to eat earlier that maybe I really was hungry. I mean, it makes sense. I eventually steamed a bag of Italian blend vegetables and topped it with Walden Farms Alfredo and some spices. That helped. But my sweet tooth was not silenced!

I kept nibbling on Fiber One 80 Chocolate, celery and salsa… nothing was doing it. It was driving me crazy that I could not be satisfied. Sitting for 12 hours last night didn’t exactly help my calorie paranoia. Ahah! Pumpkin Ice Cream! After a bowl of Edy’s Slow Churned Pumpkin Ice Cream topped with Kashi Nutty Chia Flax cereal was quite satisfying.

My eating renegade ended with more sliced bell pepper and salsa. Whatever satisfies my crunch crave.

I would venture to say that salsa is probably the most used condiment in this house. I’ve actually gotten my dad pretty hooked on the stuff, too.

I spent the evening cuddled up with Beauty on the couch, struggling to stay awake for the season premiere of Glee.

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Isn’t she cute? Rub my belly, Please, please rub my belly?!?!?

I’m so glad I made it to Glee because the entire episode was The Beatles- my favorite band of all time! The music of The Beatles kept me wide awake until the end of the episode!  I crashed as soon as I saw coming attractions for next week.

I planned on accomplishing a few things when I woke up and I managed to do most of them!

Fall has been hitting hard around here, especially early AM and late PM. Before the it gets too cold and I have absolutely NO motivation to go outside, I grabbed a run and found two more great Refrain Running songs to the add to the playlist: See You Go by 3 Oh! 3 and Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry. By the time the Buckcherry song was over, I hadn’t stopped running, I was ampt, singing outloud, and completely out of breath! But I loved it!

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I ran about 2.5 miles and was pretty tired. I haven’t run in a while! When I got home, I got everything ready for my Crock Pot White Turkey Chili. I wanted to wait until October, National Chili Month, to make chili, but with the last bit of the turkey in the fridge, I figured it would be nice way to warm us up!

After the chili got started, I whipped up a shake bowl- a Four Chocolate Shake! So today is National Chocolate Milk Day, so I made a chocolate shake for dad and myself. He took his to work, and I enjoyed mine at home.

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  • 1 scoop chocolate protein
  • 1 Tbsp cocoa powder
  • 1 Tbsp Chocolate PB2
  • 1 Tbsp SF White Chocolate syrup
  • 1/2 frozen banana
  • handful of spinach
  • guar gum
  • water
  • ice

It was a weird color that was perfectly thickened. I had a bit of a Gnu Espresso Chip bar left, and I crumbled that on top so I had something to chew, plus it has espresso in it! Wow! I really enjoyed my breakfast.

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Frank was outside working on his car and I asked if I could help. I honestly love to learn! I wish I could have a career as a Professional Student! It doesn’t really matter what it is, but I have a constant thirst for knowledge. I was very excited when Frank said I could help. Today, I got my hands really dirty! He taught me how to rotate the tires and change the brake pads! I loved it and really it tired my arms out.

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I offered Frank some comic relief as I tried to help. At one point, while trying to loosen the caliper, I lost the grip on my socket wrench and went rolling back on my butt and then my back. I looked like a turtle lying on my back! I couldn’t stop laughing. Another time, Frank recommended I stand on the braker bar to help loosen a lug nut, so I did. Guess what? It went nowhere and I stood on the bar elevated above the tire like I was Queen of the Grease Balls! haha Everyone… my neighbor, the mailman, my dad… everyone has deemed my new nickname as “Grease Monkey.”

I wasn’t really hungry until dinner. I called dad and we both agreed we were starving! Dinner did not disappoint! So yummy with a bit of a kick, topped with a little shredded cheddar! It was served with grilled cheeses on the side, each one unique.

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Franks was provolone tomato, and turkey salad, Dad’s was Honey Mustard, a smidge of turkey salad, roasted red peppers, half provolone and half American. Mine was simply horseradish mustard, roasted red peppers, and American. I was shocked by how full we were! I was stuffed and content until close to 930pm.

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After dinner, Dad and I got a Redbox rental of “Stand Up Guys.” It was great! know these actors, their past films, their age, and the story line made it so entertaining!

We returned the movie and I ran into my elderly neighbor. He always asks me to pick out new ice creams for him and he always loves my choices. Tonight, we got Phish Food and Chubby Hubby. Finally! I get to try Chubby Hubby! I made sure that my one bite I allowed myself had the giant chocolate covered pretzel! I’m content with my bite and have no guilt! Plus this Chubby Hubby thing is finally out of my system.

But this did put me in quite the ice cream mood. After a tablespoon of my Edy’s Pumpkin, I decided that I wanted chocolate and a cone and a Lil’ Drum was the winner. I love these things. After a mild bought of nibbling (stupid nibbling), I settled down with some filling romaine and salsa. Nice and satisfied, guilt free, and feeling like I had a good day!

Enjoy your Friday night! I’m spending mine with mom and Beauty…

Fiesta with a Naked Face

I really upset my stomach last night, following my purge, and arriving home, I snack on a rice cake with PB2 to absorb some of the acid. Frank came into to my room to talk, and to see how I was feeling. Even with the final rice cake of the night, I was still slightly less than 600 calories.

Today was a much better day. I made sure of it!

I knew I needed to pick a few thing s up from the grocery store, and was better way to get there, but to jog. With a bit of refrain running, and some extreme muggy weather, I made the 1 1/2 mile hike. Refrain running has become such a great outlet, even if I’m not really in the mood to run. Plus its technically interval work!

Heres a quick run down on the benefits of interval training: Burn More Calories Walking

WP_003739On my sweaty walk home, the weather started to play some games. The last 5-10 minutes home it began to rain. I arrived home, hungry and wet! Thank you air conditioned house for making put a hoodie on in 85 degree weather! Haha!

Anyway, breakfast soon followed with Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Shakes for Frank and myself. As always, I added spinach, xanthum, and guar to make a grey blob in a bowl! It hit the spot, and then I was off to Barrys.

We went right to work painting the living the room! The guys of the house did a great job picking out colors! I must say, I did not know they had it in them. I can not wait for tomorrow for when the much needed new furniture comes! The color change, makes this room some much more inviting, already.

Before garbing up for painting, I threw two chicken breasts, from some very well-endowed chickens into the crock pot for a recipe which has been featured before. Even though I added more chicken, the 1 packet of taco seasoning and 1 1/2 cups of salsa still sufficed. We even added some crushed read pepper flakes!

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As Barry’s friend Kevin arrived, and my best  friend, Maggie came over, we had a fiesta taco bar. I set up a buffet of nonfat sour cream, fat free shredded cheddar, chopped romaine, toasted taco shells, salsa, whole kernel corn, and  a bunch of cebollitas! We decided to move dinner to the deck and throw in some Corona Light’s to finish the meal!

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As we ate dinner, Maggie asked, did you take your nose ring out? Oh no! Where’d it go? Now my face feels naked! Yay, for dad who said he’d grab them for me on his way to work, tomorrow!

It was interesting to see how divided the table was. The guys ate the tacos, and the girls went with salads. The sour cream mixing with the warm sauce from the chicken created the perfect dressing! And I loved the crisp sweetness the steamed corn added!

WP_003743We finished the night with some Guitar Hero and Wii Bowling. Wii Bowling is about the only electronic game I’m coordinated enough for.

Tooty Fruity and Hydrated

WP_003587I don’t know why, but on days that I have shakes, I always feel well hydrated!

I began this morning with a bit of refrain running as I made my way to Church. I couldn’t wait to share the news with Fr. Hurley! I made great timing and wound up sitting outside for about 30 minutes, waiting for the Church doors to open.

Dad was right… never leave at home without cash. I didn’t anticipate the time. I could ave grabbed a coffee in the waiting time.

But good things come to those who wait. After mass, I walked over to the cemetery to talk to my grandparents. While I waited for dad to make it there, I sat on the curb. The landscaping guys drove over to see if I was okay. It was pretty awkward trying to explain that I WP_003591was talking with my grandparents and waiting for dad.

When I arrived home, the wilting spinach in the fridge was screaming to be used! Green shakes for Frank and I, today.

An Green Apple Cheesecake shake for Frank, and a Green Colada, for myself! Delicious!

Along with the shake, was a cup of coffee and a Vitamin Water. Like, I said, hydrated!

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I want to take a brief second to explain the importance of staying hydrated. I’ll begin with a few examples:

When I was in prime eating disorder time, I was incredibly dehydrated. It affected my muscles, my reaction time… It got to the point that I had not had a bowel movement in 8 days, I was grey and weak, completely uncomfortable, and was in the ER for 10 hours with an open IV line. I was simply there for hydration. I was pumped with about 3 L before I was discharged. I would stand up, and have to sit back down. I would already be standing, and my vision would get so blurred and I would feel so light headed that I needed to lay on the floor. I really scared my dad a couple times. It was to the point that this was even happening at work.

Last week, at Zumba, I mentioned that a girl felt light headed and she was lying on the ground. Its because she was dehydrated, not only from sweating, but because she had donated blood about 6 hours before class.

Our bodies are naturally fueled by water. Think about it, up to 70% of our bodies are made of water! Scientist believe that water is the source of life, from which species are born. It acts as the medium for all our cellular processes to occur.

Water is needed to help digest, rid your body of waste, absorb nutrients from your food, send signals, lubricate joints, regulate temperature… Water is an important part of life.

For the weight loss followers, it helps to drink lot of water because it makes you feel full and you eat less. It also helps burn fat. The temp of the water really doesn’t matter. Any water is better than none. Thank goodness for those Dasani and Crystal Light squirty things because plan water can get really boring. I’ve drank so much fluid, today, I feel like my belly is a bag of water! Last night, after Zumba, I slammed so many bottles of water, I woke up every 3 hours to pee! Hahah!

Lunch was eaten all throughout the day. I actually finished off a huge fruit salad from 7 Eleven.

You guys are getting alot of TMIs, today, so let me make it up to you with a yummy comfort food recipe that everyone is your house will love!

Chicken Pot Pie

WP_003597serves 8

  • 8 ramekins, or 2 9 in pie plates

Filling:

  • 10oz chicken breast, diced to bite size pieces
  • 5 cups frozen mixed vegetable
  • 2 10.75oz cans 98% fat free Cream of Celery condensed soup
  • 2 tsp dried chopped onion
  • 1/4 tsp black pepper
  • 1/2 tsp ground thyme
  • 1/4 tsp chicken/ poultry seasoning, optional

Crust:

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Preheat the oven to 350 F. Meanwhile, over medium heat in a skillet sprayed with nonstick spray, cook the diced chicken breast with the seasonings. Toss until all the chicken is just cooked and none have stuck to each other. Transfer the warm chicken, with any juice produced into a large bowl with the condensed soup. Add the mixed vegetables and thoroughly combine. Spray dishes with a non stick cooking spray and divide the mixture amongst them. Place the dishes in a shallow pan (a roasting pan or pyrex should work) and fill the pan with a cup of water. Place the pan in the oven and bake for 15 minutes. Give the soupy mix a stir and return to bake for another 15 minutes.

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Meanwhile, working in two batches, work on making the crust. Roll, with hands, 3 pieces of dough, and using a rolling pin roll out into 4 circles, or one large circle if using a pie pan.  Repeat this step with another ball of 3 crescents. 

Remove the pan from the oven, and carefully seal each ramekin, or pie pan, with your dough. Sprinkle the top of the crust with the garlic powder and return the dishes to the oven, still in the water pan, for 20 minutes, until the tops of golden brown and flaky.

Remove from the oven and dig in!

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Each serving is around 240 calories. I was told this was one of the best dishes I’ve made! There was only once complaint! They wanted more!

Just like the pot pie, who doesn’t love pantless? Haha! I had to sign off with another TMI!

Refrain Running

Last night, dad and I watched another Redbox called Not Fade Away. I picked it because it was about music and it had James Gandolfini in it. I dug the music but the movie, itself, was so-so.

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Also making an appearance was the Chocolate Peanut Butter Arctic Zero with fat free whipped cream, jimmies, broken fat free pretzel sticks for a salty crunch, and a sprinkle of  Chocolate PB2. I love that I can eat this and not have an anxiety attack about it! Arctic Zero, you are a blessing to all those in eating disorder recovery!

After dropping Barry’s dinner off to him at work, I arrived home not being able to take my eyes off the last fuji apple. I sliced it up and enjoyed the slices with Be Well Nutella sandwiched between them.

Utter Frustration

Despite all my yawning and being in bed by 10, I did nothing all night, but lay there- completely awake! I tried counting sheep, deep breathing, stretching, and even massaging pressure points to relax. Nothing worked! I was too tired to study, too tired to talk or open my eyes… I was so frustrated I wanted to scream! But I was too tired for that too.

Eventually I gave in and whipped out a pad if paper and worked on a few new recipes. By 4 am, my belly was growling! I tried to ignore it but now I know what time my food is digested by and why I’m hungry in the morning.

I mosied into the kitchen. My immediate reaction was to head to the MagicBullet, but since it was 4am, I thought that might be a bit inconsiderate to others actually sleeping! I grabbed a granola bar, which I enjoyed. But suddenly, I was hit with eating disorder anxiety. Just peachy!

I hate laying down after eating, but I became overwhelmed with fatigue after eating my Kashi and passed out until being awoken 3 hours later by a serious of noises. First, Bunny was meowing incessantly, so I got up, made sure he had food and fell back asleep… briefly, that is, until I was awoke by a claw scratching at my foot…

Next came a wake up call… apparently my little brother over slept and Frank was yelling to his room  to get up! Well, I’m up!

I text dad to see if he wanted to take a shake to work so I threw half a banana in with a  scoop of almond butter and Be Well Nutella, and 2 scoops of Herbalife Cafe Latte. Very tasty!

Around 11am, I whipped up brunch for Frank and myself. Franks shake included Cafe Latte Shake mix, chocolate shake mix, Be Well Nutella, Almond Butter, and sugar free Torani coconut syrup to make a Pseudo-Almond Joy.

After Barry’s fascination with the Blueberry cheesecake shake from our Denny’s Breakfast menu, I was in the mood for a cheesecake shake, myself. Returning to the good ol’ shakes, I threw together a coffee and a Mixed Berry Cheesecake:WP_003304

  • 1 Tbsp sugar free fat free Cheesecake pudding mix
  • 1 scoop vanilla shake mix
  • 1/4 cup fresh blueberries
  • 1/2 cup Welch’s Antioxidant frozen Mixed Berry Blend

WP_003305I like to add fat free graham crackers to my cheesecake shakes, but this morning I added about 1/4 cup multigrain Cheerios on top to give me a crunchy aspect. It worked out great! I always feel so much more satiated when I eat my shakes with a spoon… its probably all in my head…

In an ultimate procrastination mood, I did a few things around the house. I finally decided to call work and see what the unit looked like and was told I would be on the desk. Well, after my mini anxiety about the granola bar, and the recent knowledge that I would be sitting for 8 hours, I decided I needed to feel somewhat accomplished.

Frank found an old picture of his dad and some family friends. The edges were starting to brown and get tattered-looking, so I grabbed the picture and took a little brisk walk, about 1 mile round trip, got a copy and enhancement made, and returned with it framed. He really liked it!

I’m always happy when I can make others smile:)

FYI: August 1st began National Sandwich Month. I’m kicking it off with a left over meatloaf sandwich! Holla! I grabbed the last slice of Honey Mustard Crusted Poultryloaf, threw it on a slice of multigrain with BBQ sauce, and headed to work with my NCLEX book in hand. I must say, the loaf was even better the next day!

As I arrived at work, I stopped by the caf to grab a drink, only to be greated my blueberry pies. Proud that I kept I walking, I came onto my unit to find a pile of temptation in the break room…

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Look away! While at the desk, I could only think of the mini blueberry scone… I cut a little piece off and walked away. Thank God! My plan was to drink lots of fluid and chew gum to keep my mind off the thought of a pastry! I ran to the caf to grab dinner for some busy nurses and grabbed some cucumbers and the like, along with a SF chocolate pudding. I love chocolate pudding with crumbled grahams! So far so good.

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One of the girls had brought peppers and cherry tomatoes in from her garden so I grabbed a few tomatoes to snack on. Finding some salsa, I decided to snack on the peppers. They looked like habeneros…

I guess I was feeling pretty ballsy or that the salsa what act as a coolant, because I bit into that thing like a champ. HOT PEPPER!!! I had to grab a drink and blow my nose… not ssuch a smart decision on my part.

With my good intake for the day, I cut a 1/4 of one of the Devils Food Crumb donuts as a chocolate treat. Damn it, Entenmanns! Why do the crumbs taste so good?!!?

I’m a really crumby person…

I have a problem with crumbs! Like I’ll be that weird person that eats thecrumbs left in the donut box, just so I can feel like I ate a donut…. Despite, still being 500 calories under what I alot myself, I still was having major calorie anxiety!

I wish I could figure out why? Is there something else manifesting itself as calorie anxiety? Am I nervous about the upcoming NCLEX? Is that why I’m not sleeping? What is going on with me?

Refrain Running

Not, refrain from running! Refrain Running. Music is very important to me. In fact, one of my first memories with my dad is him singing (he is a fantastic singer, by the way) and dancing with me. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, a refrain is a part of a song, like the chorus… the part that gets repeated in between the verses…

On my brief, but most needed, run yesterday, I came up with the term “Refrain Running.” I know the right music sets the tone for my workouts. For instance, I have a difficult time running to slower songs, but some up beat songs have an off beat which throws off the sequence of my run. It sounds silly, but its true! Like Thrift Shop by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis.. Ilove that song, it pumps me up, but I have a hard time running to it because the beat makes me want to strut down the street like I’m cool or something. Haha!

Anyway, with this in mind, I noticed that I run during certain parts of songs, and power walk during other parts, creating a great interval routine! Here are some songs I realized work well with this concept:

  • Pitbulll- Hotel Room Service
  • Rooney- When Did Your Heart Go Missing
  • Adam Lambert- If I Had You
  • Ludacris ft. Pharrell– Money Maker

I’ll add to this list as I come across these songs, but its a great way to coordinate intervals into running without using a distance tracker or an app.

Lastly,

WP_003306I have noticed that my hair has gotten so much thicker! And with my new hair growth, new bangs, well, fuller bangs! My mom was a hairdresser so I’m relatively savy on trimming my bangs, so snip, snip, and viola! I Love it!

This lead me to this thought:

With new health, comes new hair!