Loca

After dinner, with Barry and dad, Friday night, I went back to dads for bit, before the father and I headed out to the DAP to celebrate the retirement of a buddy of his. Gerry is a retired Detective and his buddies at the DAP honored him with a shadow box. After a few speeches, they presented the shadow box and Gerry followed it up with a heartfelt and humorous speech of his own.

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Congratulations, Gerry, on your retirement and thank you for your many years of service!

After an hour or so of socializing, dad and I headed home to complete our DDDNight with some Twilight Zone, celery, and salsa.

I woke up the next morning and cooked dad a breakfast sandwich with egg whites, bacon and coleslaw mix to take to work. Hot sauce was included, and he enjoyed the different crunch. While dad was at work, I made a platter for myself along with some mocha, before heading to my mom’s place.

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And, boy, was that an adventure!

So here is how loopy my OCD makes me:

Today is National Cashew Day so I planned on topping a shake bowl with honey roasted cashews. Mom took the cashews to work, but I wasn’t aware of that until after I made the shake. She wasn’t answering me when I asked her about the nuts, and everytime I said something, she couldn’t here me and everything stupidly snowballed into an axiety attack. I was so nervous that with my intention foiled, I would go on a snack session! Before I knew it, I got ansy and when my anxiety gets really bad, my wrist starts to move. Not like a twitch, just a nervous, anxious movement. As I stood there, with my eyes closed, in the kitchen, trying to breath and center and talk myself down, my mom came in to repremand me on my attitude. I asked her, “Please, mom, not right now,” but she continued. (Thats a problem with the women in my family… we ALL like to have the last word! ) Things blew up, mom stormed out, and I collapsed in toa ball on the kitchen floor, crying in a panic attack.

After calming, and controlling my wrist, I went to my moms room to apologize for my behavior. It scares me often I let this eating disorder control me and how much it changes my personality when it rears is stupid, dumb, paranoid head!

Things are much better with mom and I, now. Thank, God!

I gathered myself and made a Pina Colada bowl and topped it with Kashi Go Lean cereal and a few crush cinnamon sugar Grammy Crisps. Delicious! Plus, I threw some spinach in there for some added nutrients!

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  • 1 -2 scoop vanilla protein
  • half frozen banana
  • 1/4 to 1/3 cup frozen pineapple
  • water
  • ice
  • handful of spinach (optional)
  • zanthum and guar (optional)

Yeah, baby! Delicious! Considering its 40 F outside, I made the last of my Pumpkin Spice Brulee tea from Teavana, to warm up, and channeled my emotions into tidying up my bedroom (“much needed” is an understatement) and doing some laundry.

I then packed up and headed off to work. I felt exhausted the entire drive and the complete walk up to my unit, but as always, work has a way of making me clear. My fatigue was gone and I was pulled to the oncology unit for the evening. Break was a big platter of broccoli and carrots, topped with old bay, and the last of my chicken and barley soup. I even had grahms and applesauce as a snack!

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Thank God, this night turned around!

A Sucker for Staying Power

I spent the night at dads last night. When I am over, I like to make sure we eat breakfast together before he heads off to work. While brewing a pot of coffee, I played around in the kitchen and created a breakfast pizza! Its not your typical breakfast pizza that you would get at a deli, but its very similar.

A couple weeks back, I discovered 80 calorie, low carb, low fat Everything wraps by Tumaro. I thought this would be a nice incorporation with breakfast since it reminded me of an everything bagel. I sprayed a large skillet with non still cooking spray and laid the wrap over medium high heat. Meanwhile, chop up your choice of toppings. Today, we had peppers, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, and spinach. Combine 1 egg with 1/4 cup of egg whites, or egg substitute. When the wrap has started toasting, remove from the pan. Spray the skillet again and lay the wrap, uncooked side down. Pour the eggs over top, sprinkle toppings and seasonings, reduce heat to medium low and cover. While the eggs are solidifying, I cut up a slice of Borden’s fat free PepperJack cheese,  and scattered that over top the egg.

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Keep the eggs covered until cooked completely through. We are hot sauce and egg people in the Bundo house, so that was the final touch. Slide the fully cooked pizza out of the pan, slice and enjoy! I didn’t have an appetite for hours!

Can you tell dad was really digging it?

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After dad left for work, I met up with my other dad, my stepdad, and we headed to the Farmer’s Market. I like going here for a couple reasons:

  • cheap! (lots of good stuff, for low prices)
  • ridiculously scrumptious pizza (Mama Gina’s is the best!)
  • Amish market (need I say more?)
  • produce (yum!)
  • puppies (theres a pet store and groomers in the  market, I just want to take them all home!)

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Its also just a nice way to spend an hour or two out of the house.

On the way home, I stopped by the grocery store to see if I could grab some fruit cups. I didn’t find my fruit cups, but what I did find was a new bar to try!

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I’ve really been on a malted milk ball kick, so when I came across Kashi’s Go Lean Dipped Chocolate Malt Crisp bar, I had to indulge! Oh my gosh! Love it! Its like candy! This whole bar has the same ammount of calories as a serving of Whoppers, but with less fat, less sugar, and more protein that actually fills you up, makes you feel satisfied, and has some serious staying power! I wasn’t hungry again until close to2 am at work!

I got to work early tonight to meet a friend at the Oncology Prom. Every year my hospital host Prom for the Oncology kids. I friend of mine is a former patient and invited to come! They really go all out for these kids! They serve dinner, theres a DJ, everyone looks beautiful! Last year, David Akers was the guest. This year, it was Miss Teen Delaware. After a couple dances, I helped clean up and headed to work. (Did I mention that I woke up at 5pm and could not fall back asleep today!?)

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Like most meals at work, this one had to be microwaved. It was another Lean Cuisine (I think I prefer Lean Cuisine over Smart Ones): Grilled Chicken Ceasar. But wait! Thats a salad, not a frozen meal! What I liked about this meal, was the light,  cheesey sauce and the broccoli! The ceasar sauce was not rich, like many cream gravies. I added some chopped frozen asparagus to the mix for a variation in texture. It worked out quite nicely. I finished the meal with a small, refreshing navel orange.

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During dinner, I saw one of the nurses, Kris, make a face and grab her belly. “Are you okay?” Guess what? She was having contractions! I’ve delivered babies, but its pretty cool seeing someone who belly you watched grow, start having contractions!

I was pulled to another 1:1 on my night shift. I usually dread night shift 1:1 because I’m terrified that I’ll fall asleep. This one was different. This patient shared a very similar background with me. We got to talking. While my patient sleep, I drew a picture about the true meaning of “beauty”, and wrote a note on the back. Ironically, this patient drew a picture of me and wrote a note on the back. Great minds think alike. We shared our email addresses. They say to be careful what information you share with your patients, but I find that sometimes, in order to deliver your best care, you need to bend this rule a bit. Sharing a similar story with your patient, makes them trust you. Its like give and take: they share, you share, they share even more. Anyway, I love making connections with my patient’s and trying to be there for them, not just when I am on the clock. I’m glad I met this patient.

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(My patient is obviously much more artistically inclined than I am.)