Indulgent Weekend

After my solid nap and trip with dad to the grocery store, Frank called and offered to buy dinner. I seriously debated saying “no” but I can’t go wrong with steamed shrimp and vegetables. To help me out, dad and I split my Hot&Sour soup and my shrimp and vegetables. I ate the soup and steamed up some more veggies and saved the shrimp and vegetables for my night shift. After a nice dinner and some bill paying, I tiredly went to the couch to attempt a power nap before work. I did not get a power nap, but I got out a good cry. Last night’s episode of Glee had me balling my eyes out from the second it started. I think I cried even harder because, in all honesty, its been a pretty emotional week. I think Glee just provided me the outlet.

I can’t help but dwell on lacking a position as a nurse. I think I’m the only one I know that has not gotten hired, yet. I just don’t understand. Dad says its because I’m so used to exceeding at everything I put my mind to, that this is new concept to me. I guess he’s got a point. Since I’ve been dwelling, I can’t help but think I’ve not only let myself down, but my family… my grandparents, in particular.

I need to stop this self-pity crap! Let’s move onto the goods…

I always call work before arriving for an 11pm shift. The night shift nurses come on at 7pm and I like to see if anyone needs anything on my way in. My girlfriend, Natasha, a major support person throughout my recovery, asked if I would grab her a coffee. No prob! Easy peasy! I though I was clever, at home, before leaving as I brewed my coffee with SF french vanilla creamer and a splash of SF Pumpkin Pie syrup. Natasha is a genius! “A 16oz pumpkin coffee with Irish cream and 2 Splenda.” After I gave it a try, I felt defeated, but in a good way… This was sooooo good! My coffee had been out-done. I can’t wait to grab another!

WP_004169The weather continued to be dreary, rainy, dark, and terrible… all in time for my alternator to die! Frank was kind enough to take me to my dads at 10pm, and my dad was kind enough to lend me the truck to take to work. Thanks, guys!

Despite the miserable weather and hour-long Glee cry fest, with my adorable cuddle-buddy, I came to work in a great mood! In fact, my shift began with a fun size M&M and  a Dum Dum sucker. I was expecting to be on the floor tonight, but, alas, I would spend my final night shift of my four day span in my 1:1. My patient decided  that they wanted to stay up all night. Once your patient falls asleep on night shift, you kind of want to fall asleep, too; so I was kind of okay with that, and we began our 8 hours together with a game of Phase 10.  I made a solid point to remain standing and walking around, despite being in a single room. I took a bathroom run every 2 hours or so, refilled my water bottle frequently, and even read my book and charted while standing. I think having all the lights in the room on helped , too.

When I was relieved for my break, I went down to caf to scope out the goods. There wasn’t really much in the way of what I would consider “goods.” Nonetheless, I hit up the salad bar, grabbing an assortment of vegetables, like bell peppers, mushrooms, onions, and beets. The snack machine also caught my eye with Smartfoods Cinnamon  Brown Sugar popped chips. 100  calories for the whole bag? I’ll give it a shot…

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They weren’t great, but they weren’t terrible, either. Instead, I completed my vegetables with a miso soup packet, and later snacked on some white cheddar popcorn. ( I guess it was a Smartfoods kind of shift). Oh yeah, there was a snack size snickers in there, too… Damn bag of chocolate. As Barry says, “Chocolate makes the world go round.” My reply, “Chocolate, too, makes my belly go round.”

It was quite a fiberful and satisfying meal and I, then, returned my patient’s room. When I’m in 1:1s, I notice my posture sucks, so I made a conscious effort to try to use my core muscles to both sit and stand tall. The result was a sore pack for most of my shift. I’m glad I was standing most of the night so I could continually twist and stretch to try to relieve some pain.

After a quick powernap at dad’s he drove me to Barry’s on his way to work. We have some errands to run to get ready for the weekend ahead of us.

This weekend is going to be a doozy and all this past week I’ve been preparing myself for it. In fact, next week will probably be part of the recovery process.

Tomorrow, one of my best friend from nursing school is getting married and I could not be more happy for her!

The following day is Vendemmia (which I’m thinking might be postponed due to this terrible weather Wilmington is having)!

Oddly enough, since I’ve been stressing about calories in preparation for these events, I’ve actually eaten close to 1000 calories everyday.  I really don’t know how I feel about that…

Today is National Sausage Pizza Day. Dad and I happened to find Al Fresco Chicken Sausage on sale at the store last week and I came up with the idea to combine the best of two pizzas…

Buffalo Sausage Pizza

The Crust:WP_004183

  • 1 md to lg head of cauliflower, chopped
  • 3/4 cup fat free shredded mozzarella cheese
  • 1 tsp garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp oregano
  • 1/2 tsp parsley
  • 1/2 Tbsp corn meal

The Toppings:

  • 1/2 cup onion, thinly sliced
  • black pepper, to taste
  • 2 Laughing Cow Light Blue Cheese Wedges, room temperature
  • 1/2 tsp garlic, granulatedWP_004181
  • 1 Tbsp ranch dressing mix
  • 3 Tbsp OIKOS plain Greek yogurt
  • 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes
  • 1/4 cup fat free shredded mozzarella cheese
  • 2 Al Fresco Buffalo-style  Chicken Sausage burgers
  • 4-5 tsp hot sauce, or tobasco/pepper sauce, divided, plus more for taste, if desired
  • 1/2 tsp oregano, dried
  • 2 Tbsp reduced fat crumbled blue cheese

Preheat the oven at 400 F. Steam the chopped cauliflower. Drain and transfer to the food processor and briefly pulse the cauliflower until it is riced. Combine the warm riced cauliflower with the shredded mozzarella, liquid egg, and spices. Sprinkle a heated pizza stone or pizza pan with the cornmeal and spread the cauliflower dough evenly over top to form the crust. Bake for 20 minutes.

While the crust is baking, add the onion to a small pan, sprayed with non stick cooking spray, and cover, remaining on a low heat, tossing occasionally. Sprinkle with pepper, to taste. In another small skillet, sprayed, add the patties. Break up the patties using two spatulas, and cook over medium heat just enough to begin browning. Drain the meat, and place in a bowl. Toss the slightly browned meat with 1 tsp hot sauce, and set aside.

Remove the set crust and reduce oven temperature to 350 F. Using a spatula, slide around the crust to ensure it is not sticking to the stone. In a small cup, stir the cheese wedges, garlic, ranch, red pepper flakes, 1 tsp hot sauce, and yogurt together, until smooth. Spread the mixture over the hot, baked crust, followed by the caramelized onions. Further chop the shredded mozzarella and top the pizza. Finally, add the seasoned ground chicken. Pour any remaining hot sauce from the bowl over the top and sprinkle with oregano.

Bake for 8 minutes, turn the pizza 180 degrees, top with crumbled blue cheese, and additional 2 tsp of hot sauce. Return to the oven for another 8 minutes, slice, and serve.

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Nutritional Facts: (1/8 pizza)

Calories: 104, Fat: 2g, Sat. Fat: 1g, Cholesterol: 5mg, Sodium: 621mg, Carbs: 8g, Fiber: 1g, Sugar: 2g, Protein: 12g

I served the pizza with a tray of celery sticks and baby carrots on the side. I made a quick dipping sauce using 1 LC Blue wedge, lots of hot sauce, 1/4 cup Greek yogurt, 1 tsp ranch mix, some red pepper flakes, and 2 Tbsp of a light blue cheese dressing (like Walden Farms).

The night was completed with some marble cake our neighbor gave us. Oh my gosh, the frosting was amazing! Tempting! Fudgey! Decadent! Thats what kept us going back for nibbles.

I am completing the rest of the night with my mom and a movie!

Kung Pao Carmela

WP_003924I finished a small jar of roasted red peppers, left over from the Eggplant Parm, that I ate on a rice cake. I just loved roasted reds! I have to get another jar! With this pepper idea in my head, I grabbed a baggie of sliced bell peppers from the fridge, threw them in a pan with garlic and ate them with salsa. The smell woke Frank up. “Are you cooking steak?” No, peppers!

Veggies are fantastic! Its hard to feel guilty about eating tons of veggies, yet somehow I manage to do it….

I avoided the cake at work, worked my but off, and heck, I love peppers! Plus, I’m held over until my next meal which won’t be for at least 12 hours.

Today, I woke up early after a late night, for an 0845 appointment and then it was off to Reading! Barry was back from drill ( I haven’t seen him in a few days) and we decided to take today to visit his grandmother. She is such a sweetheart! We made some travel mugs full of coffee, and inspired by Dunkin, used our new White Chocolate and Pumpkin Pie Spice SF syrups.

The weather was a bit off today… sort of overcast, kind of sunny, definitely breezy, and some rain in the occasional spots. I really don’t think mother nature knew what she was feeling, today.

WP_003925On our way up, we stopped at a light and I had to take a picture of this road sign. Ummmm… Gesundheit?!? It was like some one sneezed when they tried to name this road. I just thought it was humorous!

After visiting with his grandmother, we headed back to Delaware. We were both tired. Not even our coffees were doing the trick. By the time we arrived home, neither one of us had eaten anything. It was 3pm and I was unsure if I should eat of wait until dinner. I need to eat, it was my stomach was telling me. Just wait is what the rest of me was saying. I listened to my stomach. Since I planned on cooking Chinese food to dinner, V__6C11Barry and I hit our local take out. I ordered a pint of hot and sour soup and an order of steamed dumplings. The hot and sour soup is a favorite, as you know, and Frank loves the dumplings. As much as I love dumplings, I love the dipping sauce even more! I had a cup of soup and two dumplings, and I was stuffed! I was pretty shocked by how full I was, actually, so I was glad that dad didn’t arrive for dinner until about 530. Barry must have been starving as he downed his order of sweet and sour chicken.

Time to get a little serious…

Today is the 5 year anniversary of my Nonna passing away. I can’t believe its been 5 years already. I remember the entire day so clearly. I just can’t believe its been 5 years. In honor of mommom, I made her favorite Chinese food. On the rare occasion that she would order out, she would only get one 1 dish: “The one with the peanuts.” As much as I love Chinese food, I have never had Kung Pao Chicken, so seasoning this was a bit tricky for me, but it turned out great! It is definitely one I will make again. I whipped up a side of brown ginger rice, that I seasoned with garlic, soy sauce, and sesame oil. I had found a 2lb bag of green beans on the produce discount rack for 86 cents!!! Sweet! I cut a bunch of those up and threw them in the rice.

While I was cooking, dad and I were reminiscing about mommom. Every holiday that we have family gatherings, we watch two videos. The first is when she was attempting to speak Italian. We had been trying for so long to nail a take. Each time, she would forget what she was supposed to say, or mess something up, but this time was a beaut! She just stopped and we all started cracking up! Its hard to hear the voice, but just turn the sound up. I love hearing her laugh at the end of the video because its so damn hearty! It was so genuine! Dad cracks up every time we watch it. He turns into a little kid, rocking back and forth with laughter, breathing just enough to squeeze out the words, “Play it  again!”

WP_003927I call it Kung Pao Carmela because Carmela is my Nonna’s name. I based my recipe very closely to Hungry-girl’s recipe. I must say that my dish looked much more appetizing than hers.  Follow the Hungry-girl recipe except for the following alterations, and you have

Kung Pao Carmela:

  • substitute 1 tsp. red chili sauce with 1 Tbsp Spicy Hot Kung Pao sauce, and add 1/2 Tbsp chili garlic sauce.
  • add 1/4 to 1/2 tsp red pepper flakes to the stir fry
  • substitute equal parts of sliced bamboo shoots for the water chestnuts

I served the meal in some left over take- out containers for some authenticity, along with the steamed dumplings.

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We spent the next hour talking about mommom with my mom and snacking on the bag of discount green beans. I think between the two of us, we had to have finished off 3/4 of  lb. They were so crisp and fresh. I was so full but just couldn’t stop crunching away. I didn’t really mind though, since I hadn’t eaten all day. We showed mom a video of mommom from her last Christmas. We had gotten my little cousin some guitar game and she was having so much fun fooling around with this thing! My uncle’s commentary is hilarious and I love hearing her laughing, seeing her smile and having a good time, and hearing her voice. My favorite parts of all is when you hear her talk. At one point, she says, “I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m doing it!” And I love the end when she says, “I can play!”

Thanks for letting me share my memories with you! I miss you and love you, mommom!

Bundo-ized Mama’s Mustard

The decision? Stay awake.

Well not so much stay awake of sleep, as relax and let what happens, happens. After running a quick pit stop, I arrived home around lunch time. Keeping it simple, and only having a bit of an appetite, I repeated yesterday’s Be Well Nutella on toast, this time with a bit of PB. (Life is always better with peanut butter.)

          Except for that one time when I was refeeding and ate half a jar…

After finalizing the post, I fell asleep watching the Harry Potter marathon. It was the perfect nap- right about an hour- enough to refresh and regroup.

Since I had fallen asleep the other night watching the new Die Hard, I asked dad if her wanted to come over to watch it after work. He came over, but not after I sent him on a mission. I have been dying for Mexican food! NOT that Tex-Mex mess- REAL Mexican Food. There are two places that have made my list: El Toro, for take out ( I’m addicted to the Chili Rojo de Puerco and guacamole salad), and El Jefe, for dine in. I made dad swing by El Jefe to get me fried scallions, also known as cebollitas. I’m on a mission to find out just what the spices are that season these onions, so I can try to make them at home. Anyone got any ideas? From what I can find on Mr. Google, its just lime juice and sea salt… That just sounds too simple.

In the midst of keeping things simple, I reached in the freezer and pulled out two Healthy Choice meals Dad and I had gotten a while back.

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The cebollitas were perfecto with The Salisbury Steak meals! Although these meals smelled great, I really was not impressed. The eat was small and a little tough, there wasn’t much flavor to the gravy, the mashed  potatoes are never a good idea in any frozen meal, but  I always enjoy the veggies.

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It was interesting having both my parents watching the movie with me, all of us getting along.

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Snacky-Sammy began to set in, in which I ate a Special K Chocolatey Pretzel cereal bar. Barry came over after work and ordered Chinese food for dinner, so did Frank and my brothers. I ordered a small hot and sour soup, shocker, and stole one of the guys dumplings (I love that dipping sauce!) Thinking f I treated myself to a small craving, the urge would go away, Barry and I picked up Reese Whoppers. Thats right, peanut butter coated malted milk balls! A few of these, and I was set!

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Moms mood quickly change after my dad left. She went to the store and returned with this:

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I immediately approached her about the recent conversation we had regarding bringing home trigger foods, and she began accusing me of telling her what to do. I’ve said it before, its just not easy when you are not surrounded by support.

To take my mind off the full pizza sitting on my kitchen table and the minor anxiety that followed my soup, I cooked. I decided to whip up some homemade mustard sauce to be used in a recipe later this week. (By the way, be prepared for a few Bundo-ized comfort foods).

I promised this recipe about a month ago, so here it is. Its actually my moms recipe, that I altered. Every party we host or attend, this mustard is always requested. Yeah, its that good! My mom’s recipe calls for  sugar and  eggs, and very un-precise measurements of the remaining ingredients.

When I made this for my grad party, I used a 50/50 mix of Splenda and sugar, last night I tweaked it a bit more. The granulated Splenda, as awesome as it is, does not have the same melting point as sugar. The more sugar, you use in this recipe, the silkier, the mustard looks. I’ve made this before using all Splenda, and the taste does not change. The mustard just looks a bit thicker, rather than silky.

Bundo Honey Mustard SauceWP_003237

yields approximately 3/4 cup

3/4 cup liquid egg substitute

2 Tbsp white sugar

1/4 cup, plus 2 Tbsp granulated Splenda

5 level Tbsp of Colemans dry mustard powder

pinch of salt

1/2 cup distilled white vinegar

WP_003239Combine all the ingredients, except vinegar and blend until smooth. Allow the blend to sit at room temperature for at least 30 minutes, reblending the mix, occasionally. Reblending and settling at room temperature ensures the eggs do not immediately cook once over the heat and the flavors are evenly distributed. In a small pot, over the lowest heat setting, pour the mustard in. (Scrape the sides of the bowl to make sure you get all of the blend in the pot- every drop counts). With a spatula, continuously scrape the sides of the pot and stir the the mustard, until it begins to thicken. Once the mix begins to slightly stick to the spatula, pour in the vinegar and continue to scrape the sides of the pot and stir continuously. This is the longest process of the recipe, but the end result is worth it. Continue the stirring on low heat to ensure the eggs are fully cooked and the vinegar cooks out.

WP_003241The mustard continues to thicken and take on a sheen (The more sugar in the recipe, the shinier the mustard). Once at a smooth thickness, pour into a separate bowl, cool, and refrigerate for storage.

Nutrition per 2 Tbsp:

Calories: 51, Fat: 0.7g, Sat. Fat: 0g, Cholesterol: 0mg, Sodium: 43.1mg, Carbs: 4.5g, Fiber: 0g, Sugars: 3.4g, Protein: 2.2g

This mustard is probably one of my favorite condiments! I’ve put it on grilled cheeses, grilled chicken breast, and later in the week, I will be crusting a meatloaf with it! Stay tuned and enjoy!

PMS… What a Bitch!

After dad and I were greeted back to Delaware with a brief down pour of rain, we heated up the remaining pizza from the Sawmill, and a small buffalo chicken cheesesteak for dad and I went for some frozen veggies.

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The last few days, I’ve been wanting all things sweet, salty, and crunchy. Peanut M&M! Pretzel sticks! Semi-sweet morsels! Almond Joy! Butterfinger! Cookie dough! Crunchy ice cream! Chinese food!  Yeah, I was all over it, last night!

Give me Sweet, Salty, Crunchy, Indulgence! NOW!!!!

Last night was it! Yesterday was a fabulous day with dad in seaside! It began with breakfast, which I pre-planned in MyFitnessPal the night before. I also planned on having a bite or so of Sawmill pizza, which I put into my calorie counter. By the time I had gotten home, last night, my calories were enough to allow for dinner and a treat! Time to play it safe.

I microwaved some green beans and broccoli. That just wasn’t cutting it. Ah, some cantaloupe from the farm market should help… Nope. Popcorn! 94% fat free… safe choice, good for chewing, and popping… Still not doing it. Maybe a few semi-sweet morsels… Mmm salty popcorn and chocolate. That’s what I want! I need salty, sweet, crunch! 

I allowed myself a nice treat! I quickly popped a few M&Ms and dialed the Chinese restaurant around the corner. Dad and I split a Hot and Sour soup and an order of shrimp toast. Many people have no clue what shrimp toast is. Essentially, its a shrimp- “imperial” like mixture on a slice of bread that is covered in panko and deep fried. I like to dip mine in the mustard and duck sauce mixed together. Here’s the deal… It’s not exactly in the lowest calories, lowest fat content categories…

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I haven’t had shrimp toast in almost two years. When my eating disorder set in, I swore off all things fried, breaded, and ordered out. I’ve learned that even though I usually have melt downs after tasting any of these foods, its okay to treat yourself. I don’t do it every day… I’m  slowly learning to incorporate treats in my life in a way that is in moderation and good for my mind and body. (I have lots of recipes for shrimp toast so I think I’m going to Bundo-ize this typically unhealthy splurge).

Back to the point of this post… PMS is a bitch. I’m human, and a female, at that. Before I got sick, I was never really a sweets person. I was big because my portions were large and I didn’t exercise. Ever  since recovery, I have loved chocolate! In fact, I was snacking on semi-sweet morsels all night! So…

chocole

Female+Recovery+PMS= Oh crap!

If you’ve ever seen or read The Vagina Monologues, “Angry Vagina” pretty much sums its up…Its a hilarious monologue about all the things women put up with. In general, I highly recommend for everyone to check out the monologues! But as I write up this post, its all I can think about that accurately portrays my feelings.

The cramps, the bloating, the cravings, the mood swings, the fatigue… and its almost uncontrollable! Like a tic! What a bitch!

In fact, yesterday actually started at 330am, for me, as I woke up with cramps. I laid in bed, desperately trying to fall back asleep, curled into the fetal position. No such luck…

As I cracked into my fortune cookie, I thought my fortune was most fitting:

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“Our perception and attitude toward any situation will determine the outcome.”

I don’t look at last night as a failure in my eating or my progress. I look at it as normal. Everyone get the munchies. Everyone has indulgent times. Everyone just needs chocolate sometimes! It happens! Even with my mini-binges the last few days, my calorie count has still been within limits. I allowed myself these treats yesterday, knowing that I am allowed to enjoy a little indulgence. I know it sounds like I’m trying to convince myself of this, and I partly am. It takes 3,500 calories to gain 1 lb. I eat to live, not live to eat. Cooking and eating are passions of mine. How can I let these eating disorders destroy my passions. I am in control.

But, wow, did I really need last night’s munchie-fest. It was good for the mind and it made my body shut up with the cravings. Plus, it made my dad smile to see me really enjoy what I was eating and not stressing about calories! (He actually asked me the calorie count of the shrimp toast! Good job, daddy!)

With all of this rambling and pseudo-inspirational mindset, I am always honest with you. After dad headed to bed and I thought I could trust myself, I began to pop a few semi-sweet morsels. After a bit of this, despite being on the phone with Barry, I knew I was getting out of hand. I was testing my own boundaries. How far could I take this? Why didn’t I tell Barry? Instead, I put on a front to him like everything was fine; Like I was proud that I allowed myself the indulgence. (I kind of was.) Bottom line, I purged. Not all of it, but the shear action, after not doing for weeks, proves I still have a long way to go.

With that said, I am sorry, dad. It was a selfish action and I know it hurts you when I hurt myself.

I just realized that many of my posts have a similar pattern: inspirational and then spiral into a black hole!

Eating disorders are a bitch!

PMS… What a Bitch!

Strawberries and Mango

I wanted to make today a mildly productive day, and it was. It began with two super yummy shakes!

When I got down to some random frozen fruit, I diced it all up and made one big frozen fruit salad, containing bananas, apples, and assorted berries. This, combined with chocolate protein mix, made and incredibly delicious and creamy shake for Frank. Since I love froyo, oh, so much, and am constantly topping my sugar free strawberry with chunks of mango, I took the cue.

1 scoop vanilla protein powder

1/3 cup halved, frozen strawberriesWP_002900

2/3 cup cubed, frozen mango

1 Tbsp Torani sugar free coconut syrup

Wowzah! That was a tropical dream!

After my shake and a cup of coffee, I grabbed Beauty and pampered her! She got her nails trimmed and a nice bath! It always amazes me how much a dog can shed! Nonetheless, she got a little pep in her step and went to show off how clean and fluffy she was to Bunny.

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I think that little pep tired this old gal out… nap time for Beauty!!!

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Following her bath, I checked on my discounted pears I had picked up. Perfect consistency for my Bakeri-inspired coffee cake! I’ve cooked for Barry, but never baked for him. I made a slight alteration to the recipe. Rather than layering the thinly sliced apple, I finely diced it and incorporated it into the batter. I then layered the pears, since they cook down a lot easier.

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I did have some pears left over, so I did the same and tossed them into the last layer of batter. I feel like the cake was so much moister this time around, since the juices from the apples were evenly distributed.

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Barry stopped by after work and I gave him some. It must have been good because he didn’t have any left by the end of the night and told me it was “delicious” and that I should feel free to make it anytime.

I did not have much an appetite today… but Frank wanted to take me out for dinner… for sushi… Dilemma. I compromised. We ordered a large hot and sour soup (always with added hot sauce) and a large shrimp with steamed vegetables, with garlic sauce. Much healthier and portion controlled than going to a sushi buffet.

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I love this stuff! I could eat it all day! Its just so refreshing, and I’ve really gotten Frank hooked on the stuff, too!

To finish off my night, a little Zumba! I mentioned last week that the instructor invited me to help lead the class. I did it for the first time, today! It was funny, at first, because I had to remember I needed to be the mirror image of what I usually do. It took a few seconds, but it finally got it. Dancing really gets me going and I think the instructor could tell how much fun I was having. Plus, it makes me go harder knowing that people are watching me, and that if I’m having a good time, they will, too!

After showering off my Zumba stank, and folding some laundry, and posting this post, of course, I will spending the rest of the night in bed sending out resumes.

A Small Feat

It never ceases to amaze me the difference a run can make. Ever a brisk walk changes my entire attitude! Yesterday, I was so proud of myself with my eating habits, but started to get a serious stomach ache around 3pm. What the heck? Is that what I get for eating right? A belly ache?! I was able to fall asleep for a short nap, only to wake up, getting sick! Yuck! What a party pooper!

I wanted to eat but every time I nibbled on something, my body just told me “no.” Maybe some ginger ale, I thought. I got myself together and took a walk down to the 7-Eleven. I figured moving around might just help. On my way home, with a diet ginger ale in hand, I figured it out. Soup! That’s what I want. I called the Chinese restaurant down the road and walked over to pick up a small Hot and Sour Soup. Was this smart? Hot and sour with an upset belly? I guess I’ll find out. I sat down with my soup and a sleeve of saltines. It worked like magic! But, before I knew it, the sleeve of saltines was no more! Yeah, the whole sleeve! But I sure felt better!

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I called my dad before heading to sleep last night to ease some mild anxiety I was having after eating the darn saltines. When I woke this morning, I had every intention of being productive. We are supposed to be expecting some big storm this week, but the weather was gorgeous! Still feeling a little guilt, I got changed, and took a swift walk to the local post office to ship a small package to Meaghen, in New York. On my way home, I stopped by the bank. It was game time. With nothing to carry, the sun out, and a cool breeze, I ran home. Although it may seem small, I ran a mile without stopping! For me, this is quite an accomplishment. With each step closer to home, my smile grew! Like I said, it just never ceases to amaze my what a difference even the shortest run can make!

After catching my breath, I made a Strawberry Kiwi Protein Shake.WP_002641 WP_002642

1 scoop Vanilla protein powder
1 kiwi
1 oz frozen strawberries
water
ice

I loved the texture the kiwi seeds gave the shake. (Warning: kiwi seeds can get stuck in your teeth :p)

I followed this up by completing some chores around the house and some paper work for my nursing license.

I called work to offer my time in any spaces in the schedule. Well, guess what? One of the girls called out sick, so I picked up a 12 hours shift! Immediate nap time!

I woke up ready to go! Since June 12th in National Peanut Butter Cookie day, I wanted to make something along those lines. This was my attempt at a PB Cookie-esque Shake:WP_002643

1 scoop Chocolate protein powder
1 Tbsp. Better n’ Peanut Butter (low sodium)
1 oz frozen chopped apple
a few dashes apple pie spice
a few raisins

It wasn’t too shabby! Once I got to work, a saw a slice of strawberry shortcake, that had definitely been picked on by the girls. But they missed the best part: the strawberry on top! YUM!

I found a big salad from a party from earlier left over for the night shift folks to eat. It was Season’s Chopped Salad with grilled chicken (iceberg, gorganzola, bacon, tomato, black olives, green peppers, hard boiled eggs), one of my favorites! My old job was addicted to Seasons and I ate this salad at least twice a week! So with a nice helping of that with the house balsamic, and a bowl of broccoli slaw, salsa, and microwaved egg whites, I was full of nutritionally dense, guilt free protein!

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Like I said, a nice run, even a brief one can really set your day up for success!

Chocolate Rain

Today began early with working day shift. I woke to a gloomy Friday morning, much like most of the east coast. Once I arrived at work and received my assignment, I made a mug of coffee (thank you, Mr. Keurig) and grabbed my breakfast.

WP_002566It has taken this paranoid mind of mine a while to come around to trying this mornings breakfast. I have heard rave reviews about this yogurt from everyone I’ve spoken to about it, but thought 230 calories was a bit much for yogurt. Nonetheless, I finally tried out Chobani flip Almond Coco Loco. This was actual coconut yogurt with actual shredded coconut in it! So sweet! The add-ins were shaved dark chocolate and almond slices. It was quite the rich breakfast, but very filling.

As I entered the break room, I was greeted by sourdough pretzels, red velvet iced sugar cookies, Hershey kisses and Italian chocolates. One of the girls on night shift was raving about this Italian chocolate called Baci so I made a point to grab one. Wow! Smooth velvety chocolate, draped over chopped hazelnuts!

I must admit that my eating was not ideal today. I offered to work overtime to help out the unit, so my dinner wound up being sourdough pretzels and dark chocolate Hershey kisses. Dessert, was a red velvet cookie. I don’t even like red velvet, but there is something about these cooked that get me every time. Yes, I know, I am the pillar of health.WP_002567

Cautiously battling the rain home, I passed a family of geese. It reminded me of how even during these miserable days, there is always something beautiful. Always something magical. Always something to make you smile. The weather was miserable, but the baby geese followed their mom and it reminded me how excited I was to spend the evening with my mom and how thankful I am that her and I battled our addictions and illnesses together and how much stronger a relationship we have now.

On the way home, my body craved more chocolate… veggies. Luckily, there was no guessing what I wanted. A small order if steamed veggies with garlic sauce, no rice, and a small hot and sour soup. Finally, some actual nutrients!

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PS. Do you remember that song “Chocolate Rain?”