Chocolate and Vanilla Cake Walk Into A Bar…

Monday

I spent the entire, and I do mean entire, day in bed! Barry and I both have night shift and neither one of us felt a real reason to get up.  In fact my “breakfast” was a sugar free oreo and a spoonful of Barry’s grandmother’s homemade apple sauce! And that’s just because Barry had them in the room! Haha!

I arrived back home, after picking up dinner for the family, and jumped in the shower. I got out just in time to whip up a shake and enjoy dinner with the family before heading to work. While the family ate their Wendy’s, I made a bowl. Frappe Away I said to myself.

Today is National Frappe Day. What the heck is a frappe? I googled and found out it is typically a coffee and ice cream based drink. Well, no ice cream went into the blender, but Cafe Latte protein powder did. Between Barry and my girlfriend, Rebecca, both of whom call me “Pumpkin,” were partial inspirations for the end result of my meal. Since I, unfortunately, did not have any open cans of pumpkin, I substituted the fiber with a handful of frozen apples. Did you know October is National Apple Month? (I know… I’m a pillar of useless knowledge…)

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The crunchy and nutty topper for this bowl was unsalted, hulled pumpkin seeds and Kashi Go Lean cereal.

I headed off to work to find out I was being pulled to another unit, a unit I have never been to before. Its always slightly nerve-racking being pulled to another unit. What are the nurses like there? Whats the acuity of the patients? Am I on the floor or a 1:1? How long will I be on the unit for?

Luckily, none of these things were a problem, tonight. In fact, the nurses were welcoming, sociable, and helpful, and my 11 patients were of managable acuity! I actually was pulled for the complete 12 hours of my shift.

Tuesday

I met with my girlfriend and co-worker, Amy, a little after 1am and we went to the caf, where I grabbed some raw vegetables from the salad bar. Rather than crushing saltines into my Wendy’s chili, I dipped these vegetables. Genius! The Wendy’s near my house was recently rebuilt and opened last week. I have been craving chili ever since. I was floored when I checked the website to find a small chili was 180 calories! I expected a small container, but was content with being able to get a chili, in the first place. When I asked the woman if she gave me the right size, she compared it to the large and I was floored, once again! Score!

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I was one happy camper as I emptied the chili hot sauce packets into my cup and dug in.

WP_004153We’ve been Boo-ed!” Huh? Apparently, theres this game going on around the hospital where units make bags of candies, and sneak them into unit’s break rooms then the game continues. Damn, Butterfingers get me every time! Luckily, I was one and done! Yay, Sammy!

My sleep was cut short today as I was awoken by a call from my manger with some not so pleasant news (more to come on that matter). There was no way I could get back to sleep and, in fact, I was up for the rest of the day before coming back to work. My breakfast? Corn chips and a Babyruth.

All day I wanted to eat, although I knew I wasn’t hungry. But then, I began feeling an emptiness in my stomach, so I ate. It turned out that emptiness was actually part of my emotions. To try to counter act this feeling, it was a two shake day.

I’m sort of childishly excited for today’s food-iday: National Fluffernutter Day! I kept swaying back and forth between making a shake or a sandwich to celebrate. I was never a fan of fluff as a kid. Well, maybe thats not the way to put it. We just never bought it. Same thing with Nutella. We never bought it so I never really developed a taste for it until I tried my little brother’s nutella one day. Same goes for the Fluff. I remember, last year during my refeeding, I would dip Nilla wafers into fluff. Sometimes, I would grab a spoonful of PB and then dip into the Fluff jar. If I wanted something extra sweet, I’d do a nutella and fluff combo!

Anyway, I decided I would feel more satisfied with a bowl:

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  • 1 scoop of Chocolate OR Vanilla shake mix
  • 1 Tbsp fluff
  • 1 tsp peanut butter
  • 1 1/2 Tbsp Chocolate PB2
  • xanthum and guar, optional

To substitute for the bread, I topped the sweet bowl with Fiber One bran cereal. (Its pretty shade of green is from added spinach).

A bit after, I realized my anxiety was manifesting itself. Rather than NOT eating, I WAS eating. Luckily, I recognized it, and preoccupied myself with mopping the floor and going through clothes to donate. When dinner time arrived, and heavy eyelids began, I  whipped up another bowl to hold me over until it was time to eat at work.

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  • 1 scoop Chocolate protein
  • 1 1/2 Tbsp Chocolate PB2
  • 1 1/2 Tbsp SF caramel syrup
  • pinch of salt
  • 20 fat free pretzel sticks, broken

It totally hit the spot and I loved the salty sweet crunch that I constantly crave.

I was on the floor for the first four hours of my 12 hour shift. My 1:1 patient was supposed to be going home tomorrow, so I wanted to spend some time with then before they left.

Wednesday

After a breezy first four, my time ended abruptly with assisting to de-escalate an upset parent and assist a nurse with removing an IV. I felt great when I was able to help the mother stop crying and make her laugh.

When I got into my patient’s room, the patient was super excited that I’d be spending the rest of the shift with them. I, then ,found out my patient’s discharge date had been pushed back to Friday. That means I get two more shifts to see them.

After the snack I had done earlier in the day, I packed a light meal for work. Plus, my nerves were still so wrecked that I didn’t have much of an appetite. But boy, oh, boy, was I in for a rude awakening.

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Yeah!

As if I wasn’t stressed enough, and manifesting it with body hating, I had that Cajun Trail Mix and all of this candy in my face! The nurses agreed that I deserved to have day a candy. Its funny how I eat candy when I’m spazzed. I’m stress eating, but body conscience. I take a bite out of piece and throw it away. Bizarre. Nonetheless, the nibbles did not stop me from hating myself as I returned to the 1:1 after eating some leftover eggplant parm frittata around 3am.

WP_004159Deb brought this in, too! Candy Corn M &M! What a combo! These candy pieces are bigger that the typical chocolates and made with white chocolate instead. Addicting. While trying to find a link to these M&Ms for you, I found these! I’ve never seen these. Ever! Is it for real? Does anyone know? My jaw almost hit the floor and I’m enveloped in curiousity! I returned to my patient’s room, after some well-deserved ranting, and counted down until 7am when I could leave.

Full or body hating guilt and a dwindling self worth, I tried to keep my mind occupied by blogging and reading.

I must admit that I was, finally, able to finish a book that I wanted to read. Its been years since I’ve been able to read a book for fun.

After work, I couldn’t wait to hit my bed. Today, on a day when I actually feel tired after work, I had to stay up to take my uncle to a doctors appointment. His procedure required sedation and he, therefore, needed a ride to and from.

WP_004160Luckily, it didn’t take very long and I killed some time at Wawa grabbing a coffee and a packet of apples to hold me over. Upon arriving home, I snagged a few pretzel sticks and almonds and curled up into a ball to awake about 5 hours late! Victory! I had finally slept!

Once awake, I hopped in the shower and assisted Frank with making my little brother dinner, while also sending out countless resumes! Last night, I was reading up on detox soups, many of which contained beets and ginger. I figured I could work with that and wound up creating what tasted better than Red Velvet Cake!

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  • 1 scoop chocolate protein
  • 1/2 small beet, peeled, sliced thinly and microwaved for 3 minutes
  • 1/2 frozen banana
  • 1/3 cup frozen pitted cherries
  • 1/2 Tbsp sugar free fat free cheesecake OR white chocolate pudding mix
  • splash of SF chocolate syrup, for added sweetness
  • xanthum and guar (optional)

I’ve never like Red Velvet Cake. It was always one of those sweets thatI didn’t understand. Its like if chocolate and vanilla cake had a baby and the baby couldn’t decide what it wanted to be when it grew up…

Once the fruits and vegetables were blended, the color reminded me of the cake, and rather than going full on “detox,” I went with the inspiration. I topped my bowl with broken pretzel sticks and chia seeds.

With the remaining half beet, I repeated the slicing, and combined it with sliced baby carrots, a chopped cherry pepper, onions, and chopped sun-dried tomatoes into a Tupperware all to be, later, used to top a bed of chopped romaine and reduced fat blue cheese crumbles. It’s National Moldy Cheese Day, hence the moldy cheese in my salad… Once arriving at work, I was greeted with this:

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“Happy Pediatric Nurse’s Week from Bayada Health!” Thanks Bayada. Start my shift with an oatmeal cookie and some M&Ms? Don’t mind if I do. One and done, baby! I was a happy camper, once again, with my self control, and felt no guilt about this treat!

Thursday

I spent my shift much like I did the night before; the first 4 hours on the floor and the last 8 in my 1:1. Before falling asleep, my patient asked if I would care to watch a movie with them. And so we laughed until the movie ended. Around 2 am I was relieved from my post to eat. I warmed the previously prepared vegetables in the microwave and tossed them with the romaine and blue cheese. I love how the warm veggies melt the blue cheese, and their juices combine to create a dressing for the salad! Its a salad with which I’ve never been disappointed! Following my meal, I snagged a mini Twix from the abbondanza supply of candy, and another half a cookie, sealing the deal with a cup of hot coffee.

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I always take time at the hospital as a learning opportunity and asked the nurse if she could explain to me the difference between “covering” for carbs and “correcting” with insulin. I was so pleased to discover that I had already had a solid understanding of how to do so, and worked with the nurse making up a few examples to ensure I had a firm grasp on the subject. Woo Hoo!

I returned to the room of the 1:1 and spent my remain hours charting on my patient, scouring the web for pediatric nursing positions, working on Be Well Bundo, stretching, and reading another book.

Following work, I drug myself to, yet another, morning appointment, but not before grabbing a bite. Who would think that soup would be the breakfast of choice? On this cold morning, it was all I could think about. I heated up a cup of Progresso’s Chicken and Barley (I’m a sucker for barley), topped with a bran crackers, and warmed myself up.

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This time, the appointment required manual labor and as I left the hospital, I prayed the rain would hold off until my task was complete. We are fortunate enough to have a home with a fireplace, my favorite feature of the house. I am planted in front of it throughout the fall and winter months. I’m surprised the floor isn’t indented with my butt print, by now. We were, also, fortunate enough to have been connected with the city to receive free wood. As the city chops trees, the lumbar is piled at a local park on the east side. If you schedule an appointment and complete the labor, yourself, you can take a truckload of FREE wood each month. We took full advantage of it, last year, and I wanted an early start, this year. I took the first available appointment and Frank and I headed over, bundled up, tiredly fighting the weather in a battle of time.

The forecast for the next four days is nothing but cold rain. Oh, joy! According to the weather tracker on my phone, between 7 to 9 there was a decreased chance of rain. Our appointment was for 830. As we pulled up, it was chilly and lightly raining. We loaded up the bed of the truck and by the time I got home, I was dead to the world and it began raining harder.

I stumbled into the house, eyes barely open, and made a B line to the couch where there was an inviting  comforter calling my name. With hoodie up and slipper socks on, I was out in a matter of seconds, contacts in and all (not smart by the way… crazy dry eyes).

I woke around 330pm, or so, trying to go back to sleep. No luck. And here I am. Catching you up on the haps.

Family Dinner

For my birthday, I wanted a family dinner full of laughs and enjoyment. I didnt get that but I did tonight! Barry’s mom asked if her and his dad could take up out to dinner to celebrate my graduation from nursing school. With my binge the other night, I almost didn’t want to go. Sammy, you are a human! You need to be able eat out with family like a normal person! I graciously acceptabed the invitation, and was even more excited to find out that Barry’s sister and husband were joining us, too, to celebrate her news of her first preganancy!

My morning began with a mild dispute between mom and me as she backed out of Zumba class. Again! I used that frustration in class and shook my booty. I thought this class would be a bit easier since it was half cardio and half toning. I was wrong! Wow! After class, my tush was sore! Sitting down was a task, but I felt great after class, covered in sweat!

I immediately downed a bottle of water to hold me over until I got home. Since I just got a new shipment of Herbalife in, I couldn’t wait to break into the Dutch Chocolate shake mix! I made a sort of PB&J-esque bowl:

  • WP_0041271 scoop chocolate protein
  • 1/2 frozen banana
  • 1 Tbsp Chocolate PB2
  • 2 Tbsp SF blueberry syrup
  • xanthum, guar, and handful of spinach (optional)
  • water
  • ice

I topped the bowl with freeze-dried blueberries and some Kashi Go-Lean cereal. Awesome and filling!

Mom and I apologized for our harsh words from the morning and spent the afternoon together. After my shower, I headed to Barry’s to help put a desk together that my dad sold him! Its seriously nice! They are having a huge sale right now! Check them out and ask for Tom Bundo. Before (a hot mess)  and After (a big boy desk):

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My dad has ton of hook ups on computer chairs, which will be the next thing replaced! 25 bucks for a plush computer chair with lumbar support? Sign me up!

We then met his family at the  local Applebees. We ordered two trays of the Ultimate Trios for apps as we waited for our meals. I ordered the Grilled Jalapeno-Lime Shrimp and substituted a side of broccoli for the rice. Everything was yummy, as always, and since Barry’s parents don’t used the lettuce, tomato, and onions on their burgers, I snatched them up and made shrimp lettuce wraps. I asked the waitress to amp up the heat on the seasoning. I don’t know why they market it as spicy…

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I spent the next few hours with Barry before heading home. My eating was fantastic and I sat in bed and enjoyed the utter guiltless-ness of Arctic Zero!

Repeat Movies

It seemed as though the animals were conspiring against me, last night. If it wasn’t one, it was the other, getting me up to go to the bathroom. Oh, and apparently, I was well hydrated, as well, because when the animals let me sleep, my own bladder woke me up.

My plans for today were cancelled. It was supposed to be an early start with a trip to moms work. Apparently,  she talks about me quite a bit and wanted me to meet every one. Well, the people she wanted me to meet weren’t in, today, so away I slept.

I woke up in a daze. I couldn’t believe I slept so late. The weather changed yesterday and the temperature dropped last night. I guess I was just too cozy in my blanket to notice the sun peaking in through the window blinds.

Breakfast, at 1pm was an anticipated slice of toast spread with Be Well Nutella. This stuff is my new addiction. Along with this was a bowl of pineapple.

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Mid-day, around 4pm, or so, I finished my Gnu Brownie bar, and vindicated my inner child with a chocolate milk made with Flax milk and sugar free chocolate syrup.

Despite all of my sleep, nothing could get me going today. I curled up on the couch with my glass of chocolate milk, studying for the boards, and discovering the classic “Forrest Gump” on TV. I adore this movie! Some movies I can watch repeatedly! I never get tired of them. Its funny, though, I only watch them when the are on TV…

What movies can you watch over and over again?

Armagedon and “Independence Day are two that are constantly on FX and are always watched in our living room. Yes, we have the DVD, but we only watch it on FX. I literally sit there, completely mesmerized, saying the lines before the movie does!

Stardust is frequently on the Shotime network. I think the magical aspects of the movie are what suck me in.

We all know I’m a dork and a complete sucker for the Harry Potter movies! Yes, I own the books and the movies, and watch the Harry Potter weekends on ABC Family channel. The only time I will not watch these movies is during the 25 Days of Christmas. Come on, ABC Family! What the heck does HP have to do with Christmas? There is literally 1 snowy scene in each movie! One! Give me Snow Meiser, of Nestor the Long Eared Donkey! (Ironically, a marathon was on when I got home from work).

Pretty much any Marvel Comic movie, expect for the Hulk, will pretty much do me in. Fantastic 4, Iron Man, X-Men! Bring it! I think it may stem from my Power Rangers fetish as a kid. I used to pretend to be Kimberly, the Taradactle, the Pink Power Ranger! I used to stand on the couch and body slam my dad, I mean, Ivan Ooze! Yeah, I was kind of a bad ass…

Disney shows the old movies that I grew up watching; the ones that were Disney Original movies when they aired and I watched them. Ironically, one of them was on last night, during work: Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century! I’ve always been fascinated by space and the future, if you couldn’t already tell by my Star Trek and Twilight Zone obsession. Just thinking about Zenon makes me sing, “Zoom, zoom, zoom, make my heart go oum, boom. My super nova girl!

All in all, I was pretty lazy for the afternoon, but was able to squeeze in a nap before mom got home from work. I sat her down and expressed my feelings regarding her actions. She understood how the trigger foods effect me, emotionally, and said she would make a conscious effort to not bring them home. She also acknowledged how the trigger foods she brings home are not healthy and that she needs to make an effort to make better food choices.

After a shower and an effective conversation with mom, I headed off to work, with a coffee in my hand, for an odd shift: 11pm to 11am. The unit needed coverage from 7am to 11am and I offered to help. To power me through the night, I brought a Peachy Pistachio Chobani Flip. Frankly, I was curious. I’ve never been impressed with peach yogurt, and have never even thought out peach and chocolate together. This flip cup was peach Greek yogurt with dark chocolate chips and pistachios. Mild is the only way I can describe it. The bitterness of the dark chocolate paired well with the tart and sweet yogurt.  There was just the right amount of chocolate to satisfy my raving but not make me want to go into chocolate overload. The pistachios were like the surprise at the bottom of a cereal box: you forgot it was there, but what a nice treat it was!

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My only qualm is the amount of sugar in it, but sugar content is an issue with any flavored yogurt, really.

The girls and I also split a bag of 94% fat free kettle corn. (We are popcorn people on my unit).

My assignment was more than I usually have so I kept incredibly busy. This worked out for me because it allowed me to listen to my body cues and not snack! I was so busy, that in the 12 hours at work, I never even was able to pick up my NCLEX book!

Around 7am, I sat down to give myself a bit more fuel to power me through the end of my shift. I love this individual packages by Oscar Meyer. They are the perfect size for someone like me, plus, they freeze and defrost great, so I can buy them when they are on sale and eat when I ‘m ready for it. With this 6 slice packet, I made turkey roll-ups, filled with dill pickle halves, celery, and bell pepper slices. I love the crunch from the veggies, the sweetness from the peppers, and saltiness from the lunch meat. A packet of graham crackers also joined the party.

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I was surprised by how awake I was for the last four hours of my shift. I think what really helped get me through the night, was not my 2 cups of coffee, but a combination of two beverages. I’ve noticed the carbonation in the soda helps make me feel full, so when I picked my girlfriend up a Diet Cherry Coke on the way to work, I thought I’d second that notion. Also, my green tea concentrate from Herbalife always perks me up, fills me up, and boost my metabolism, as an added bonus!

I felt so on top of my game, this shift. So much better than last shift! The 12 hours flew by! Now its 11am, and I have dilemma… To sleep or not to sleep? That is the question…

Its the Little Things

Last night, was another sleepless and restless night. I don’t know if it was from my minor binge or if its because I had coffee later in the day, or if its because my mom and I are still on the rocks. Either way, I laid in bed for hours last night, just thinking about my upcoming day trip to seaside tomorrow… stressing about what I’m going to eat.

WP_003140I know I get excited over really trivial things, but yesterday my new scale came! I’m not sure if I shared with you that my food scale died on me last week. To test it, I put a baby carrot on it and it said it weighed like 805g! I don’t think so! After a trial of changing batteries, ensuring I was using a level surface, and weighing a bunch of random items, I had to accept that the scale was no longer working. RIP scale. You have been good to me. I ordered a new scale off cooking.com and lucked out when I saw it was on sale! Yesterday, a brown box arrived with a cooking.com sticker. “It’s here!!!” According to Barry, my excitement was quite amusing! I was so excited to actually see how many Popcorners actually equaled an ounce!

Yesterdays free sample from the pet store was an item I had never seen. I thought, initially it was a dog treat, but after further reading, it turned out to be actual dog food… freeze-dried dog food! Beauty loved it! The product is called Stella & Chewy’s. Beauty had the Stella’s Super Beef Dinner. They also make cat food, which I’ll have to try for Bunny. What I really liked about this product was that the first 6 ingredients actually were BEEF, followed by real ingredients like spinach, beets, pumpkin seeds, and cranberries. There are also frozen products and pet treats, as well as a nifty calculator to determine how much food your dog or cat will require based on weight, activity level, and type of food. To add to the already cool concept of freeze-dried pet food, Stella & Chewy’s donates a portion of their profits to no-kill shelters and animal rescues!

*Please know that this review is NOT sponsored my Stella & Chewy’s in any way.

WP_003137As I told you yesterday, I like fruit in my shakes, and I cannot lie! I used my new scale to weigh out everything today! First, was the banana for my Blueberry Banana Latte shake.

1/2  frozen banana

1 scoop Herbalife Cafe Latte mix

2 Tbsp Da Vinci sugar free Blueberry syrup

(1/4 tsp xanthum, optional)

Frank’s shake turned out super delicious! I threw a bunch of frozen cantaloupe and some frozen mango in with vanilla shake mix!

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Tomorrow, I am taking dad to the shore, so the last few days, I’ve been trying to eat right since boardwalk food isn’t exactly known to be the healthiest… especially not  the stuff that I want to eat like pizza, sausage, and custard! (Not all together, but you know…)

Although the little binges do not help, my eating has been decent otherwise. My diet has been full of fruits and veggies lately, too! One of the many pros of warm weather is fresh produce!

I was back at work tonight. Dinner was simple and in the form of a hot pocket-esque burrito: Amy’s Tofu Scramble in a Pocket Sandwich. My past experience with tofu scrambles is that they require a decent amount of seasoning, so just in case, I brought some chili powder and crushed red pepper flakes to work with me.

WP_003139After last night’s snack attack, I wanted to be prepared, so I also sliced half a bell pepper and brought it to work with some Walden Farms dressing for dipping.

Now let me tell you what really happened… Obviously, I typed up my dinner before leaving for work. I arrived at work only to find out that our census on the unit had recently dropped. Okay, I guess either Katie or myself will get pulled to another unit. Then, I found out that the entire hospital had a low census and neither one of us was needed. One of us was being sent home. Since Katie was driving from Pennsylvania, and I knew she would be arriving shortly, I surprised myself when I offered to go home. I only live about 20 minutes away and I took it as a sign from God to study for the boards, and protect myself from the cupcakes in the break room. It also gave me the opportunity to talk things out with mom…

I decided to head back to the pet store to grab Beauty a bag of the new dog food, see what all the hype was about with this Blue Buffalo stuff, and grab Bunny a sample of Stella & Chewy’s to try.

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The cat enjoyed her Heavenly Herring and Tuna, and Beauty scarfed down her small can of Wellness, as she always does. I like Wellness food for her because like Stella & Chewy’s the first ingredients actually are meat! In the past, Beauty has really enjoyed the Turkey & Sweet Potato and the Venison & Sweet Potato. This morning, I mixed half of the small can of Duck & Sweet Potato with her dry food. On this visit, I grabbed the Lamb & Sweet Potato, as well as S&C’s Duck, Duck, Goose freeze-dried patties. As for Bunny, I recently tried him with Wellness food, and he, too, ate his bowl clean. The canned cat food happened to be on sale (woot, woot)! I’ll let you know about the Blue Buffalo. I definitely would agree that the dry food is too expensive!

It amazes me some of the food combinations that companies have for animals. I don’t believe in spending a fortune on pet food, but I do believe that my animals are my family and should be treated as such. I’m glad that there are companies that feel the same, and create foods to nourish our babies!

I came home and devoured my sliced bell pepper! I was so hungry. Barry stopped by before he headed off to work, and Frank and I began to assemble our dinners. Since I was home, we sprinkled a salmon fillet with some adobo and baked it in the toaster over. We both created a spring mix salad, mine with peppers, carrots, and onions, a piece of the salmon fillet, and a drizzle of fat free Honey Dijon. Frank kicked it Ceasar-style.

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Meanwhile, work called to bring me in at 7pm. I was not too apt to drive back to work since I had just arrived back home from there. After a discussion with the supervisor, we worked things out and I was able to stay home for the night. Now, I can go to bed early to prepare for tomorrow, do some laundry, study, and relax, plus I already picked up extra shifts for the week! I’m thankful things worked out!

Still a bit hungry, I indulged in some cantaloupe and pretzel sticks! Yeah… now that I type it out, thats a weird combination…

You can’t feel too bad about eating too much fruit… I’d rather eat that than junk food…

You know that feeling you get when you check Facebook, and you have a new friend request, or when someone invites you to an event, or when you get a new follower on Tumblr. I had that feeling waking up this morning. I received two emails from wordpress.com, the host site of Be Well Bundo. One stated that a person liked “Everyone Needs Cheerleaders” and the other, that I had gotten a new follower. Naturally, I get curious about these people and return the favor of checking out their blogs. Both people were using blogging to help cope with their eating disorders, one with anorexia, and the other with bingeing and bulimia.

I read through some of their posts, recognizing their feelings and sentiments, remembering being in those similar situations, trying to find ways out. Its the little things like that, that make me smile. Knowing that through our blogs, we not only help each other, but ourselves. We have outlets, validation of our feelings, knowing we are not alone, and most importantly, making new friends and contacts to be our cheerleaders in the fight.

Its the little things like that…

Never Too Old for Animal Crackers

After yesterday mornings excitment, I enjoyed sleeping in this morning.

Last night, Barry came over during his lunch break from night shift, around 9pm. I greeted him with a chicken sandwich, from the left over chicken we grilled the other day, a tray of broccoli and cheese, a chocolate chip cookie and a chocolate cheesecake for work, that mom had had picked up from Wholefoods.

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After Barry left, and some studying, I laid in bed for about 2 hours tossing and turning. As tired as I was, I just could not fall asleep. I think that having a disagreement with my mom, yesterday, on top of Beaut getting out, really ampted up my anxiety. I felt similar to when I was really sick… I would lay in bed, up until all hours of the night, planning my meals for the week, stressing about calories… planning my every move for the coming days.

Finally, I fell asleep!

This morning began with a shake for Frank and myself. The tricky thing about cafe latte flavored shake powders is that besides bananas, flavoring syrups are typically used to flavor them. But I like fruit in my shakes, darn it!

I used to work in a nutrition store, and a really popular shake was the Carmel Latte shake. Wanting fruit plus a little pick me up, I experimented with a Caramel Apple Latte shake.

  • half a fuji apple (about 3/4 cup), chopped, preferrably frozen
  • 1 Tbsp sugar free caramel Torani syrup
  • 1 scoop Herbalife Cafe Latte powder
  • (1/4 tsp xanthum, optional)

Not to shabby…

After Beauty’s escapades, yesterday, and some time to kill before work, I ran to the pet store to get a new name and address tag for her. It was a toss up between a pink heart and and Eagles tag. While she went to pull out the pink heart, she found a pink heart with the Eagles logo on it! Score! I think Beauty has learned her lesson, though, at least for now, because she has been a sleepy pup since she came home. While at the pet store, I also snagged her one of her favorite canned foods, as well as a free sample.

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I felt so silly while on my way to work, today. Its 95 degrees outside and I’m in a long sleeve shirt… in a car without AC…

I swung by Dunkin for an iced coffee on my way to help cool me off. (I wear longsleeved shirts to work because its always cold!!!!) It was much needed!

I arrived at work a bit early, which gave me time to cool off and grab my assignment for the night. I was in a 1:1. That shake this morning really filled me up! I didn’t have much of an appetite at all today! I finished up the left over brussel sprouts from the other night (lightly drizzled with yellow and honey mustard), and celery sticks and peanut butter for snacking. Around 6pm, when I took my dinner, I was very hungry! Luckily, I spotted animal crackers! I don’t care how old you are, but you are never too old for animal crackers!

I was surprised by how hungry I was, but I hadn’t been very hungry since my shake, so I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised. The important part, is that I recognized that I was full and I stopped eating before I lost control. Recovering from binge eating, just like anorexia or bulimia, has no boundaries. Eating disorders can strike anytime, anywhere.

Once my shift ended, I came home and snacked on some Fiber One 80 Chocolate cereal, but soon found myself nibbling on many items. I finally tasted that kick from the KIND Dark Chocolate Chili Almond. After realizing that I was beginning to have a mild binge, I quickly jumped to a warm glass of flax milk and began this post.

In Bloom

I tried my best to stay in bed for as long as possible. I still felt body conscious and was trying to avoid breakfast. After getting some sense to myself, I excitedly took out my new shake mix that arrived in the mail yesterday: Herbalife Cafe Latte.

Frank’s Chocolate Walnana Latte shake consisted of:

a banana

1 scoop chocolate protein mix

1 scoop of cafe latte protein mix

a dollop of walnut butter

water

ice

Since I’ve been digging the peanut butter scene lately, I made a PB Cafe:

1 scoop cafe latte

1 Tbsp Chocolate PB2

1 Tbsp Torani sugar free Irish Cream

1/4 tsp xanthum

water

ice

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After trying to tidy up around the house, body hating set it in. I am was so frustrated! I curled up in a ball and allowed fatigue to overwhelm me. Talking things out with my mom and taking a shower helped a bit. Still sleepy, I made a caramel iced coffee. (Thank you, Torani, for your sugar free goodness!)

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I prepared my dinner, still being body conscious, and went with my classic stand-by: eggs! I love the simplicity, healthfulness, and ease of tossing some veggies and salsa in a tubberware and microwaving it! And its always delicious! Tonight, I must say, really hit the spot!

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My energy level picked up after my bit of protein and veggies, and although I was asked to work overtime tonight, I can’t wait to head home, and head to bed!

PS. One thing that really made me smile today was walking outside to see my lilies had bloomed!

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A Little Late for St. Patty’s Day

With this big bag of spinach in the refridgerator and a mint craving in my belly, I thought I’d try an uuber healthy Sam-rock Shake before heading off to class!

1 scoop Herbalife Vanilla Formula 1WP_002191

1 scoop Herbalife Vanilla Protein Drink Mix

1 Tbsp DaVinci sugar free Creme de Menthe

a bunch of spinach

water

ice

Eat your heart out, McDonalds!

An added bonus… it was so filling!

Wednesday wasn’t too exciting of a day, but one this that was specifically a highlight was this:

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I picked up my stole and tassel for graduation! Isn’t it pretty! The symbol on the stole is the key of Phi Theta Kappa, the honor society! I can’t wait to walk up onto that stage, in less than a month, wearing these!

I got home to an fuji, cinnamon, and cottage cheese before trying to catch some Zzzz before work. Five hours isn’t too bad. Upon waking up, Glee the Concert was on TV. I kept my guilty pleasure on while I spent an hour or so sending out resumes for Registered Nurse positions in Pediatric hospitals.

Say some prayers for me! I found a couple positions open in  New York!

I headed off to a great night a t work. I had a patient that I noticed some abnormals in and mentioned it to the nurse. She evaluated the patient, confirmed my findings, and thanked me for realizing these symptoms. She wound up calling the doctor to evaluate her.

I don’t want this to sound odd, but I’m glad I had this opportunity. I mean, it reaffirms that I should be in this field, that I have accurate nursing judgement.

Moving on with the night, I had a pretty consistent night of 10 patients. Dinner was Lean Cuisine’s Chicken Marsala. I used the magical, edible fungi to bulk this up. I was disappointed to see like four pieces of chicken in this meal. Luckily, I sliced up about 4 mushrooms before leaving for work. It was really great once I added the mushrooms. I was surprised by how cheesy the parmesean pea and mushroom risotto. With some added shrooms, this is definitely an “eat again” meal!

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Soy Nut Butter

This morning had a sleepy start, resulting in me forgetting to take my medication before I left for clinical and, oh yeah, my wallet! Thank God I didn’t get pulled over!

My dad is the best and, on his way, to work, brought me my meds and my wallet!

Despite this mornings chilly 30 degree morning, I prepared a shake to get my day started, inspired by Harry and David’s Chocolate covered Pears! (maybe next time I’ll add some caramel!)

1/2 frozen pear,WP_001395

2 scoop Vanilla Herbalife,

1 Tbsp sugar free White Chocolate Pudding mix

Ice

This was very filling and I wasn’t hungry for long while! I think it had to do with the natural fiber packed inside the pear.

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I was absolutely exhausted by the time clinical was over and had absolutely no motivation to workout. I headed home, and while listening to my growling stomach, whipped up an early dinner.

It was very green! A ton of spinach in egg whites,  topped with fat free shredded mozzarella. I ate it with a slice of marble rye and hot hot sauce!

Eating has been getting better, aside from the fact that I downed a whole bag of chex mix last night. I’ve been pretty bummed about it, though. That, combine with my exhaustion, just equaled laziness, today. So lazy, that I only had three goals for the day: take a shower, watch lectures, go to sleep.

I’ve felt bloated all day today, but tell that to my stomach! Snacks were in the form of rice cakes, nutella and soynut butter.

So here the down low on the Soy Nut Butter: I just can’t do it. Unless nutella is somehow involved to mask the taste of the soynut butter, its just not happening… I can’t really describe the flavor, either, but I’m just not digging it. I’m going to give it a shot in some oatmeal Thursday morning, so I’ll let you know how that goes.

I have another long Tuesday ahead of me tomorrow, so I wanted to be prepared. I took a shower tonight, then prepared ALL my meals for tomorrow! In fact, I planned my entire day, work out and all!

Roasted Vegetables: Crock Pot Recipe #7

Wednesday:

I went to class this morning and while waiting, enjoyed a Muller Mousse Parfait. A girl I’m in clinical with loves these, so I gave it a try.

WP_001225I tried the peach passion fruit, figuring if I was going to try something, I might as well try the most exotic sounding. I topped it with both ground flax and chia, and it was delicious and filling! I only have one complaint: way too much sugar! Seriously, it had a whole days worth of sugar in it!

After this cardiac cram session, I hit the gym. I had a full workout planned but as I was doing it, I realized I was not going to be able to complete it, if I needed to get some sleep for night shift. I only worked out for an hour or so. I was so bummed when that I had to leave. Have you ever been so into your routine, you just didn’t want to stop. Seriously, even the shuffle on my iPod just kept giving me great songs to power up to!

I hit the sheets when I got home, unfortunately  only getting about 2 hours of sleep for my 12 hour shift. I made something that was LONG overdue: a shake. Iv’e been checking up on this blog I found and she made a shake that sounded delicious, so I gave it a go. The following was whipped up:

handful of kaleWP_001227

handful of frozen, pitted dark cherries

1 scoop Herbalife Vanilla Formula 1

1 scoop Herbalife Vanilla PDM

half a frozen banana

1 Tbsp sugar free cheesecake pudding mix

and lots of ice!

Pretty darn tasty… Actually, dad asked me to make him one for Thursday morning!

WP_001228Thursday:

Over the course of the long night, I did some pretty wise snacking choices, suck as graham crackers, sugar free pudding, and 94% fat free popcorn. I have to same, though, my favorite meal of the night, was the Raisin and Spice Oatmeal. I stirred in a little PB, and mmmmmm good!WP_001231

After I got home, I started preparing the crock pot. Tonight’s recipe is in preparation for tomorrow’s dinner (I can’t wait!)

Once all the ingredients were in the crock, I sat down to finish some homework and enjoyed a nice bowl of Banana Nut and Peanut Butter Cheerios, a cup of Pumpkin Spice coffee with some sugar free french vanilla powdered creamer and a few dark chocolate covered espresso beans to keep me going for the day!

Katie loves crock pots too and I remembered a while back she posted about roasting vegetables in a crock pot. Being the sucker for veggies that I am, I starting thinking up ways to use these veggies. Over rice? with sausage? In a pita? The possibilities are endless! Needless to say, I hit up the discount produce shelf…

Roasted Crock Pot Veggies

2 bell pepper (I like using colors)WP_001233

3 cloves garlic, slivered

half an onion, sliced in rings

a few baby portabellos

1 large carrot stick, sliced into very thin coins

handful of sun-dried tomatoes, sliced thin

1 small eggplant, sliced to 1/4 in thick

spices, to taste

Prepare all the vegetables, adding or subtracting vegetable that you enjoy, and toss them in the crock pot. Season, cover, and cook.

The original recipe calls for oil, but instead, I just gave the top of the veggies a quick spray with some non-stick pray and few shot a liquid aminos. I couldn’t find my Italian seasoning in the cupboard, so I used some granulated garlic, black pepper, parsley, oregano, and basil, and gave it all a nice toss.

WP_001235Cover the pot and look on low, stirring occasionally.

During class, I was starting to sense some hunger creeping up on me. I looked around the room, and wouldn’t you know like four people were chopping on protein bars! AHHHH! I knew this would be tough!

When I got home from class, the house smelled like a warm garden… fresh veggies in the air! I hustled into the kitchen to give them a stir and a try. I was so happy with how they turned out! The carrots were just the right consistency  the onions became translucent  the peppers and mushrooms cooked down, the tomatoes got soft and sweet, the eggplant absorbing all the flavors…

I had some leftover turkey sausage to I put a little in a tortilla with some veggies and I was in heaven! This most definitely will be a meal another night.WP_001237

As for tonight’s dinner, I was jonesing for a Wendy’s Jr. Hamburger, and mom was really eyeing up the chili. My creation was a chili dipped burger! YUM! I snacked on some mixed fruit for dessert!

Over all, the last 24 hours was pretty decent with food… only a few minor binges.

After meeting up with Mike to finish our assignment, I tried to squeeze in a workout before being detained in nursing labs for 3 hours. I was able to squeeze in the following workout, based off of Julie’s Beat Boredom Interval Workout:

Weights:

Sitting Crunches 15reps 4 set 53 lbs
Tricep Extensions 15reps 4 sets 20 lbs
Sitting Crunches 15reps 4 sets 53 lbs

Elliptical:

0-10 min 11 resistance
10-1230 13
1230-15 14
15-20 11

Repeat Weights

Treadmill:

1-5 minutes 4.2 speed 8 incline
5-630 7 1
630-8 5 1
8-10 4.2 1

Now, I ready to crash, wake up refreshed, workout, watch some lectures, and cook you all a wonderful Friday Lenten dinner!Even though, I was totally sleep deprived, I did not want to leave. These last two days I’ve really been in the workout zone!

Antioxidants

You know I never let anything go to waste. I had blanched a pear in some lemon juice and frozen it a while back. I woke up really wanting to use this pear in a shake this morning. I had seen a couple shake recipes using pears so I played of of those to make this mornings shake:

1/2 frozen pearWP_001074

1/4 to 1/2 frozen banana slices

2 -3 tsp cashew butter

1 scoop Herbalife Vanilla Formula 1

1/2 pkt Fruitein Rainbow Shake mix*

1 cup Bai5 Brasilia Blueberry

handful of kale

1/4 tsp xanthum

ice

I wanted something filling, with some natural sugars to keep me powered through this study day. This shake is like an antioxidant heaven!

Studying ensued for the rest of the day. I realized I needed my first study break after a period of delirium when I began baby talking to Beauty… a quick little circuit should do the trick.

Back to studying until hunger kicked in… As I grabbed some Wasa, nutella, and Planters Berry PB, mom went and got Arby’s for dinner (Yay, coupons!). French dip with a bit of horsey sauce! Yum!

I also had an Orange Cranberry Gnu bar, which did a great job holding me over for a while! (look for the Gnu review, coming soon!)

Studying for the rest of the night! Wish me luck tomorrow!

* I found Fruitein at the co-op and wanted to give it a try. The Rainbow flavor caught my eye as a power house of health! It has over 115 Whole Food Concentrates. I mean, the ingredients list blows my mind: white fig, carrot, pomegranate, yellow pepper, pineapple, garlic, spirulina… and things I’ve never heard of: noni? mangosteen? wolfberry? The shake is vegetarian and gluten free.