What a Tangled Web We Weave

A spider’s web… Although we try to avoid them, its hard not to be captured by each ones unique structure and design. This is kind of how life is. Our lives are unique, beautiful in their own way. Something or someone comes along, and your web is no longer what you thought it was. Its mangled. What do you do? Like any mama spider, you start over. This time, slightly changing something to improve its stability and strength… To make it more resistant to the outside factors.
Each day, I become more and more aware of how important it is to stay focused. When something in my life feels like it’s crumbling, i can’t stand back and watch it fall; rather, I must try to catch it, salvage what i can, and rebuild.
This is how I feel about my binges. Today, I broke down. I was beaten, defeated, tired. When will these stop?! How can i be so out of control.
After about 2 hours on the fetal position, I called my girlfriend,Katie. ( I guess you could call her my sponsor). She explained that during her recovery, she did the same thing. It was hot or cold: she didn’t eat anything or she couldn’t stop. Exactly how i am right now.
Katie is kind if like my Yoda. She talks to me in a way where I don’t feel threatened or like I’m being blamed or scolded. She understands the amount of mental strain this disease has on a person. Rather, she tells me what used to work for her, or we try to get together to do something productive. Unfortunately, Katie lives a pretty decent drive away, and we both work crazy hours, so we don’t get to see as much if each other as we’d like. Yay,God, for texting! She’s the best!

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