Last night, I was totally in the zone watching my lectures. I got a phone call, and God help me, I could NOT get back down to business. One of my major downfalls is that I’m a snacker, and a serious one, at that! I snack because I’m bored, but most of the time, I snack because I have nervous energy and chewing helps me to feel like I’m doing something with it. (This is why I chew sooooo much gum!) Well, I went to munchie town last night! I think I ate or nibbled anything I could get my hands on. I suddenly realized, “Hey, I’m fully binging! Stop it! You’re not hungry.” I stopped and took a couple deep breaths.
In the past, this is the time I would have reached for the tooth brush. In fact, I did grab the tooth brush last night. I paused. This is NOT you any more.
A good friend of mine gave me a little mantra that helps keep me going and focused : “An eating disorder can not live without us, but only can we truly live without an eat disorder.”
I also have a friend that I met through OA (overeaters anonymous) that I can call and vent to. Find a great friend who will stand by your side, a good listener.
I know I went overboard and that is the first step: Recognizing and taking responsibility for your actions. It was so easy for me to blame my dad for the binge. Hes the one that called me. Hes the one that made me lose focus. But NO! He did not tell me to eat what I ate. He did not force me to do anything. Those where my choices.
The next step is to breath and channel. I am so quick to curl up in a ball, cry hysterically, and hate myself. What is that going to solve? Nothing! All of that anger, I channel into production. In these cases, exercising is my outlet. I especially enjoy kickboxing because it allows me to relieve the aggression I feel. Even though I know I have lectures and work to do, I know that working out is my priority at that moment because if I don’t, I know my work will not get done and I will not be focused.
Lastly, plan. For the next few days, eat a little lighter and work out a little harder and longer. Schedule times to workout, take the stairs, take the dog for a walk… Plan your meals with a diary or tracker, as well. My advice is to choose high protein, high fiber foods to keep you feeling satisfied. Also plan your days to keep busy. If you work at a desk, or sit majority of your day, plan to move around every so often to get some blood moving and your heart pumping. In my case, I have a lot of lectures to watch, so every 45 minutes or so, I do a 10 minute cardio or circuit workout to clear my head and keep me feeling good.
There are days, like earlier in the week, when I can’t shake that funky feeling. I keep mantras around the house, on my notebooks and cell phone, to remind me to keep my head up. I scattered a few I really like throughout today’s post.
Self pity won’t get me anywhere. Pride, on the other hand, like the pride I felt this week after days of excellent eating habits, kept me going. The more I think about it, without some mess ups, I can’t experience that immense pride I feel in myself when I go days doing the right things. Cue the cliche: “Whats done is done.”
Like the picture above, I can always start again. Never give up on yourself. You’re worth more than that.